IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Big salary is much important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
There is a
controvesy
Correct your spelling
controversy
 among standard criteria for
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 a profession. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
candidates
Add an article
the candidates
show examples
 are selecting a vacant position with high
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 and competitive packages. Personally, I strongly disagree that the income would be the main reason when applying for
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ocupation
Correct your spelling
occupation
.
First
 of all, I believe that
people
 have to earn enough amount of
money
 for their monthly expenses.
For instance
, we need to pay our bills
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 goods, fuel, electricity, school fee, food, etc.
On the other hand
, many
people
 set a goal for job satisfaction that no
money
 can
guarentee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
. They can struggle
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 daily basis due to the short of
money
.
For example
,
fresh
Change the adjective
freshly
show examples
 graduated students and start-up
entrenpreneurs
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
 are well known for chasing their dreams, but that does not always give them sufficient
money
 to support their own family and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
show examples
 life. That's why it is more crucial to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look on at high earning.
Secondly
, doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
 leads to a
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
 ladders growth.
In other words
, there is a great bond between productivity and staff 's interests.
People
 who love their job can
achives
Correct your spelling
achieve
 a better outcome than those, who put salary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
first
 place.
Nevertheless
, workplace culture and environment
also
 affected the
workers's
Remove the s
workers'
show examples
 level of happiness and life 's standard.
In addition
, there are some
people
 who devote their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charity because they love to help others and contribute to the community. In conclusion, I totally believe that other principles are more
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 than
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of income. Because
money
 can not buy happiness.
Submitted by quangnd159 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: