IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem?

#movement #people #areas #cities #work #places #measures
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Over the few decades, many
people
 migrate from rural to urban areas,
this
 can affect farming as well as
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 industrial side.
This
 essay will explain, some serious issues and solutions for the problems. The biggest problem with the migration of
people
 from
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agricultural
backgrounds
Correct the article-noun agreement
background
show examples
 to cities to work is, farming ideas and
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 will never improve,
people
 will have difficult competition and hardly get
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in future.
For example
, if
agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
show examples
 field
face
Change the verb form
faces
show examples
 difficulties due to the lack of farmers with labours,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
farming instruments and some technical ideas, no one
there
Add a missing verb
is there
show examples
 for help in
this
 situation. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
only
Add an article
the only
an only
show examples
 professional
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 can solve
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues.
Moreover
, from
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 side, the company will have many employees, but many graduated
people
 will find trouble to get a job owing to have more competition in the same field.
Solution
Correct article usage
The solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem is, farmers have to make improvements in the agricultural field and they should use modern technology.
Additionally
, migration is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easy way to find financial improvement. Agricultural
counsilor
Correct your spelling
counsellor
 will help to improve the farming style and make
profit
Add an article
a profit
show examples
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it should
be provide
Change the verb form
be provided
show examples
 by the government for one to two years, once farmer satisfied of the profit and he will
undersand
Correct your spelling
understand
 how he did farming, it will definitely
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 towards rural improvement. In conclusion,
people
 should try to make improvements
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their side, they should not think about migration it will impact on
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 economy in a bad way.
Also
, the government should concentrate on farmers difficulties or problems and try to solve them.
Submitted by patilastha1197 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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