Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

this

present world, a

lot

of talented individual doesn't get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

support from the

government

. Even you will bring pride to your country. It

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that giving financial support to performing

arts

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

of money.

Instead

Add a comma

,Instead

show examples

it should

be use

Change the verb form

be used

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

public service. I don't agree with

this

statement and I will elaborate

Change preposition

show examples

this

essay.

First

, performing

arts

is helping to boost our tourism.

Such

as plays,

arts

Change the noun form

art

show examples

exhibits and live concerts that

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been main attractions to a

lot

tourist

Change to a plural noun

tourists

show examples

As a result

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

will a

lot

a budget

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

kind of

programs

Fix the agreement mistake

program

show examples

because they benefit

out of

Change preposition

from

show examples

it. In the

end

Add a comma

,end

show examples

it is

great

Add an article

a great

show examples

help

Add the particle

to help

show examples

to our

government

Second

, there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

lot

Add the preposition

oflot

show examples

ways to do public service some of

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

doesn't require monetary value.

Example

Add an article

An example

show examples

is helping the environment.

Change preposition

show examples

the

end

Add a comma

,end

show examples

you were able

help

Add the particle

to help

show examples

and

fullfil

Correct your spelling

fulfil

your duty as

government

individuals. In conclusion, Performing

arts

is not a waste of money it can help us in many ways. I believe

government

should support it.

Submitted by mafrancessanne on Thu Aug 05 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

174 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people claim that genetically modified (GM) food can be dangerous while others feel that it may bring enormous benefits to the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

n many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What are the problems associated with this? What solutions can you sugges ?

Some people believe that it is essential to include physical eduction classes i the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programms ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children) to what extent do you agree or disagree?