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Band 4.5

The consumption of the world’s resources (oil and water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions?

#consumption #world’s #resources #oil #water #rate
The problem of tuberculosis in the world's natural resources is ubiquitous.
Such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of resources are limited and the growing proportion of using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
is definitely a serious concern. I will discuss both the postulates
such
 as reasons as well as solutions along with my rationale associated with appropriate exemplification in the subsequent paragraph. At the outset, the growing number of vehicles on the road used by
people
 is directly proportional to the consumption of the earth oil
that is
 petrol and diesel. Nowadays owning a vehicle has become very affordable because of
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 which enhances the
use
 as well as owning a personal automobile. For the solution
government
 should compile a rule to
use
 the personal vehicles on alternate days
such
 as odd vehicle numbers will run on odd days of the week
that is
 Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and even number
vehicles
Change preposition
of vehicles
show examples
 will run on even that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
For instance
, the Delhi
government
 had lessened the
use
 of fule by 68% in 2018 by applying the rule of odd and even number of transportation systems.
Furthermore
, many cities in India are out of
water
 nowadays. They are dependent on other cities or
reigion
Correct your spelling
region
regions
religion
 for
water
. Many
people
 waste
water
 by washing their houses as well cars. Some misspend it in doing domestic chores
such
 as doing dishes with
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
 open tap. For the solution , Municipality should compensate
people
 who
waste
Correct your spelling
wastewater
show examples
water
 for their cleaning cars and outer portion of the house and
also
 fix meter for
water
 supply so that
people
 will consume limited
water
 for their
use
 as they have to pay for that. To the
coclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, after perusal of aforementioned
points
Add a comma
,points
show examples
 it is conspicuous that world is running out of natural earth
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
 because of the
execive
Correct your spelling
executive
excessive
 consumption of world's
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
resource
.
Government
as well as us
Add the comma(s)
, as well as us,
show examples
 should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
this
 concern and follow the necessary and
strigent
Correct your spelling
stringent
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 applicable by the
government
.
Submitted by upen.pathak8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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