IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #right #access #internet #governments #services
In the 21st century, the technology like
internet
 extensively
using
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 by
people
. in which one group of
people
 ponder that the facility of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 should be free in manner while another group opinion that everyone should
change
Correct your spelling
charge
show examples
 an entrance fee for the
service
. in
this
 essay, I will explain both views and will summarise my opinion regarding
this
 statement.
Firstly
,
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
 facility is more applicable for developing and underdeveloped countries because the
people
 over there cannot afford
this
service
 which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 a sense of disparities among them.
secondly
, it is more accurate for more than education that every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 learning
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online which make a
government
 initiative for free access.
for example
, due to
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
 schools and public libraries are shut down, whereas the children learn their lessons through Google meet.
in addition
, many developing countries
government
 precedes free mobile
internet
 facilities for their children to continue their studies.
Thirdly
, we can instruct online shopping, marketing, business strategies for meeting expenses so
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 introduction
free
Change preposition
of free
show examples
 net fastly not only enhance education but
also
 helps to meet the dreams of many
people
 in our society. Apparently, giving a free
service
 is not an easy task it needs more infrastructure and money.
consequently
, poor countries need to meet mobile
service
, mobile application, officials and policies for imparting these
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
.
In addition
, it arises a question for paying services and it
mobilize
Change the verb form
mobilizes
show examples
 a helping hand for the authorities to reduce their debt. Admittedly, the
people
 now spending more time
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 for leisure activities or other unnecessary things which brings
government
 regulation of
service
 through paying extra money. to illustrate
this
,
Government
 of India now charging extra fund for video game companies because youngsters now addicted these games and spending more time
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
internet
 in order to regulate
this
, correctional methods applied by controlling authorities. In conclusion, we want technology to meet the needs of modern life but charging for
this
service
 should be on the basis of
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 background of
people
.
otherwise
, it makes a huge difference between the life of rich and poor
people
. it is high time that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
government insured
Add a hyphen
government-insured
show examples
internet
service
 for all its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
, as they are the future of the nation.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: