IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #companies #job #applicants #age #development
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As we know that companies give preference to experienced
people
Use synonyms
. I would say
this
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 is not good for all.
Although
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 we come to know that,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 countries it is not allowed at all. In my opinion,
this
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 would give
negative
Add an article
the negative
a negative
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 impression as if you reject
people
Use synonyms
 on
age
Correct article usage
an age
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 basis; it would create stress on younger
people
Use synonyms
 who are energetic and ready to start their practical life. It is important to note that companies want to have
those workforce
Change the determiner
that workforce
those workforces
show examples
 which have skills and experience and deficiently nobody will
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
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get without spending years into
particular
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a particular
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 field.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, in order to hire these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of experience
people
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 company should have
huge
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a huge
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 amount of capital to pay the salaries
as well as elderly
Add the comma(s)
, as well as elderly people,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have more medical issues as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to younger
people
Use synonyms
.
for example
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 , old
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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need
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needs
show examples
 to have extra medical care along with insurance due to these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of diseases like sugar, blood pressure and heart diseases etc
on the other hand
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 , if you provide opportunities to younger
people
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 not only they can work even faster than the elderly
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
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 gain experience along with better contribution to the society.
Furthermore
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, if you give a job to
older
Add an article
an older
the older
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 person, it has been observed that they rest more and they require more care like you will have to hire one assistant to assist them ultimately it will increase your cost . In a nutshell, it is not allowed to rejecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 due to their ages , I do believe it is a negative impact
thus
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 older
people
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 need some rest.
However
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, offering a job to the younger
people
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 provide benefit to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both company and the employee which ultimately company can
seen
Change the verb form
see
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 in term of growth and profitability.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
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