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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #someone #job #age #development
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Previously, some organizations would reject
job
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 applications based on the applicant's age.
However
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, several countries have made it unlawful to reject someone looking for a
job
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 based on their age.
This
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, I believe, will have a good impact on both individual and national growth.
To begin
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 with, in every sector,
experience
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 is seen as a key to success. As older
people
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 with more
experience
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, their working styles and expertise accumulated through a lot of
experience
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 would undoubtedly aid in successfully cracking some transactions. Even younger generations will gain a great deal of expertise by working with seniors. It is possible that deadlines will be missed. The benefits of these initiatives at the national level would be the icing on the cake. The majority of the recipients will be in the
health care
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healthcare
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 industry. It has been noticed that when
people
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 are unemployed, they
experience
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 a great deal of stress, which can lead to a variety of health issues. When
people
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 are financially and mentally stressed, they develop a variety of health problems.
As a result
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, the healthcare system has been impacted. When someone is preoccupied with a
job
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 and responsibilities, it is unlikely that they will have time to care about trivial matters.
As a result
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 of
this
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 approach, the strain on the healthcare system would be reduced. in conclusion, the recent amendment to the
job
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 policy prohibiting the rejection of applications based on the applicant's age will have a good influence on the company, the individual, and the country by lowering the mental and financial hardship that
people
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 face when they are unemployed.
Submitted by yahyagamal2010 on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and arguments to enhance coherence. Use linking words and phrases to create clear connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • inclusive workplace
  • workplace diversity
  • workforce experience
  • equality in hiring
  • age-related stereotypes
  • demographic changes
  • economic growth
  • social security systems
  • consumer spending
  • non-discriminatory policies
  • bias
  • fair practices
  • retirement age
  • intergenerational collaboration
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