There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#amount #children #goods #toys #snacks #parents #advertisements #pressure #advertisers #information

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It is often argued that a large

nubmer

Correct your spelling

number

advertisements

encouragege

Correct your spelling

encourage

encouraging

children

to buy that

product

like toys or snacks. Many

parents

considered these

influence

children

, while advertisers

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

that they are giving beneficial information to

children

. In my opinion,

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

are useful for

children

to get

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

about what kind of innovation is in the trend and how can they use it. On the one hand,

advertisements

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

an important role in

children

's lives.

However

, it is beneficial for them because after watching an

they will get that toy or snacks and they will play with that toy, he will learn many things from that toy too. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

nowadays toys are really helpful to get knowledge about basic studies like alphabets and numbers.

Moreover

, for

parents

, it is normal to worry about their

children

, because they are trying to teach them discipline,

parents

can not give them anything they

wans

Correct your spelling

want

parents

do not want to do

Remove the article

apply

show examples

permissive parenting.

On the other hand

advertisements

encourage

children

to buy the

product

and that will not a good manner, it will lead to disappointing lives in future.

advertisements

are not beneficial for the family but if

children

watch

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

and they want that

product

it means they have some interest in it and

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

a significant step towards

the

Correct article usage

show examples

happy and innovative future.

Submitted by patilastha1197 on Wed Aug 11 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

some people believe that university students should work part time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?