There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that a large
nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
of
advertisements
encouragege
Correct your spelling
encourage
encouraging
children
to buy that
product
like toys or snacks. Many
parents
considered these
advertisement
influence
children
, while advertisers
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that they are giving beneficial information to
children
. In my opinion,
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
are useful for
children
to get
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
about what kind of innovation is in the trend and how can they use it. On the one hand,
advertisements
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an important role in
children
's lives.
However
, it is beneficial for them because after watching an
advertisement
they will get that toy or snacks and they will play with that toy, he will learn many things from that toy too. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
nowadays toys are really helpful to get knowledge about basic studies like alphabets and numbers.
Moreover
, for
parents
, it is normal to worry about their
children
, because they are trying to teach them discipline,
parents
can not give them anything they
wans
Correct your spelling
want
,
parents
do not want to do
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
permissive parenting.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
encourage
children
to buy the
product
and that will not a good manner, it will lead to disappointing lives in future.
Advertisements
are not always beneficial for everyone, sometimes they might have
not
Add an article
a not
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
product
, but we do not have enough knowledge about it and we buy it due to
see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
the happier face of our child. It is not financially good for the family.
Although
, if
children
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
play with toys and eat what they want
then
when they are going to enjoy their childhood. In conclusion, sometimes
advertisements
are not beneficial for the family but if
children
watch
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and they want that
product
it means they have some interest in it and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
a significant step towards
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
happy and innovative future.
Submitted by patilastha1197 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: