IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many people want their country to host an international sporting event. others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits.

#people #country #host #event #events
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Nowadays, many international sporting
events
Use synonyms
 are held
in
Change preposition
on
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 various sites like every year.
In particular
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, Japan is a host for the Olympics
in
Change preposition
apply
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this
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 summer. So those
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
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 that their
government
Use synonyms
 host these sporting
events
Use synonyms
 is good, whereas, others say it generates various problems rather than profits.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, hosting sports
events
Use synonyms
 has three advantages.
First
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 of all, the
government
Use synonyms
 can be paid attention to
enforce
Change the verb form
enforcing
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 an event in terms of the economy after sports
events
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, well-known athletes appear
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
 event
such
Linking Words
 as the Olympics or won a competition by athletes from their country, makes other regions paying attention.
Secondly
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, acting competitions
such
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 as football and tennis, stimulate audiences, and sometimes an athlete who recovered from a heavy accident and illness touches others by playing a sport.
Furthermore
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, the quality of life would be improved
collecting
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by collecting
show examples
 infrastructures
such
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 as roads and stadiums.
On the other hand
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, doing competitions give impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 because almost
of
Correct pronoun usage
all of
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 are not effective for their economy with regard to cost. Looking more closely, collecting facilities is a negative influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 pollution. Many visitors go to a stadium to watch games, which bring about the problem of trash. It is critical for the environment, and it might improve worsening environmental issues. From these advantages and disadvantages, I would like to say that negative factors are exceeding positive impacts because the
government
Use synonyms
 pays plenty of victims to take part in
events
Use synonyms
 to collecting sites.
However
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, it is a critical impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them, and the environmental stages.
Submitted by ryoutafukamachi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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