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Band 2.5

Nowadays because of our lifestyle and bad economic conditions people tend to working overtime, There are many people working harder than others in both school and the workplace. Some people believe that without labor, nothing prospers. But it is always a good thing?

#lifestyle #conditions #people #overtime #school #workplace #labor
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A lot of students study for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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long hours because they want to compete for
an entrance exams
Correct the article-noun agreement
entrance exams
an entrance exam
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, some of them
wants
Change the verb form
want
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 to pass and do well the exams just because of the promote in their job position. But some others are to be a workaholic. I personally believe that working too hard is detrimental
from
Change preposition
to
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 the routine life and society.
Disadvantages
Correct article usage
The disadvantages
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 of working hard are more than the advantages.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous studies have proven that working long hours without proper rest will reduce productivity and it takes
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
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 toll on your mental and physical health.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 you can earn more money but in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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following
of
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
advantage
Add a comma
,advantage
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 I think you have to pay for your health. To sum up, there are so many people to fight harder in life
doe
Correct your spelling
due
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 to their dreams come true and because of their goals.we have to care about our health and arrange the time.
Linking Words
Otherwise
Add a comma
,Otherwise
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 it might bring serious problems and regrets in the future.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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