IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In many Countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #places #people #ban
Many countries have prohibited smoking in public
places
. So,
people
 who
smoke
 in public
places
 will be breaking the law and can go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jail. I think
this
 is a good
movement
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move
show examples
 from the governments of these countries
,
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apply
show examples
 because protect the life of
people
 who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not
smoke
. For the above, I agree with the statement.
First
 of all, we must know that the smog from the
smoke
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 very dangerous for
people
 breathing around. In fact, some studies
has
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have
show examples
 shown that even
smoke
 in outside's
places
, can affect the
people
 around.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
, when someone is near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somebody who is smoking, the effect of the smog in the lungs of both persons is the same. It is very dangerous
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
 stay near to someone smoking. Another point to consider is that
this
 restriction helps to reduce the number of persons who
smoke
, improving the general health of
the
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apply
show examples
society.
For example
, if adults who
smokes
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smoke
show examples
frecuently
Correct your spelling
frequently
 can not
smoke
 in some
places
, they will reduce the number of
cigarrettes
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
 consumed.
This
 reduction, in long term,
cause
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causes
show examples
 an
improve
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improvement
show examples
 in their levels of health, and reduce their odds of
suffer
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suffering
show examples
 lung's diseases. As you can see, there is a correlation between
this
 restriction and the health of a part of society For the reasons I explained before, I think is really good that
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not permit smoking in public
places
. I agree with
this
 restriction
,
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apply
show examples
 because are healthier for the entire population.
Submitted by ja.rios903 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
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