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Band 5.5

In many countries children are engaged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

#countries #children #kinds #work #people #responsibility
I believe that
children
 should not
work
 . I think
this
 because
children
 need to concentrate on their education rather than spend their
time
 working and they should spend their
time
 as a child and do things that are appropriate for their age . One reason I believe
that is
 because
children
 can not value their
time
 and how important school is for them.An adolescent could easily be distracted which can be harmful to their grades.
For example
,
children
 who
work
 can not concentrate on the homework they have given in school ,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they go to
work
 and forgot about their homework . Another reason that
children
 should not
work
 is that
children
 need to take advantage of their free
time
 to discover what are they passionate about . In ,addition to knowing what they truly like , they have the
time
 to develop and grow their talent .
For instance
, after he finished his homework , he could paint ,dance or read and
that is
 what I really think
children
 have to do. In conclusion , there are a lot of activities which
children
 can do but not one of them should lead to
children
 have to
work
.The most important thing they act like a child ,not an adult.
Submitted by bashayr on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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