IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
There is a big number of markets which are offering its products
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet. In consequence, many
customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
show examples
 have migrated to buy some
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 in online shopping, but there is a part of
Add an article
the customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 that continue going to the physical
stores
. It is
disagee
Correct your spelling
disagree
 that online store will lead to all
stores
 in
towns
 closing.
Analize
Correct your spelling
Analyze
 the importance of
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
 of shopping, as well as the
necesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 of assistance to buy some kinds of product, may
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 us to understand why
stores
 in
towns
 will not close.
First
, a great number of consumers buy things because they enjoy the
experience
 of going to the physical shop.
For instance
, Apple's
stores
 offer
to
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apply
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their clients a great
experience
 to its clients, let them the
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 interact with all the devices that they sell in the store.
This
experience
 can not be offered by online shopping, just might
be achieve
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be achieved
show examples
 in physical
stores
. For that, shops in cities will not be closed as a consequence of online shopping
Second
, the
adquisition
Correct your spelling
acquisition
 of many things need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support from experts to understand which product will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 us.
For example
, when a client
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 tools to repair their homes, they need all the materials to do the task, but they
also
 need an explanation of how the tools and materials must be used. Even if we
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
this
 assistance
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet, I think the support will not be the same if we talk face to face with the expert.
As a result
, companies will maintain opened
stores
 in
towns
, so those will not be replaced by online shopping. In
sumary
Correct your spelling
summary
, in some markets, factors as the
experience
 of buy and the
needess
Correct your spelling
needs
need
needless
 of support to know the products will help to maintain
opened
Change the form of the verb
open
show examples
 the
stores
 in
towns
. It
is disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with the statement that Online shopping will lead to all physical
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 closing. In the future, the companies
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 will offer both
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of
stores
.
Submitted by ja.rios903 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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