IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
Upon graduating from high school, some people think that pursuing higher education is the best way to have a successful career, while others argue that having a
job
 after graduation is more beneficial. Having a
job
 right after school brings some advantages.
Firstly
, by working,
students
 become more mature, as they can live independently on their own income.
In addition
,
students
 can learn how to manage their budgets and save money.
Secondly
, when
students
 experience various workplaces, they have a chance to acquire more skills and experience. Because of
this
, they can put the knowledge gained from previous employment into practice and receive recognition for their capabilities.
Moreover
, by doing different jobs, young people can find what suits them best and make their career choices better.
However
,
students
 should pursue higher education. The
first
 reason is that a worker with a degree can meet higher qualifications, which employers tend to expect.
Moreover
, in Vietnam, an engineer is more highly paid and have more chances to move up their career ladder than a manual worker. Another reason is that the
job
 market is becoming competitive over the world, as hundreds of applicants chase the top jobs.
Thus
, having a degree is an advantage for
students
, as it not only helps graduates to have an easy time finding a
job
 but
also
 reach the top in their chosen careers in the future. In conclusion, while getting a
job
 after graduation may have its own benefits, I think that
students
 should go to university to pursue higher education.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: