IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

#city #traffic #congestion
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It is argued that one of the big
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 of
people
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 that living in the capital is
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traffic
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a traffic
the traffic
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jam
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jams
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. Nowadays numerous
people
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 have a dream to stay with
comfortable
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a comfortable
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 life and many facilities in a big
city
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. Leading to
people
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 prefer to stay in a large
city
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 especially, in
Correct article usage
the inner-city
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inner-
Correct your spelling
inner city
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city
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.
This
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 essay will focus on discussion about causes of
traffic
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congestion
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 and ways to solve
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traffic
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the traffic
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problem
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problems
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 in a large
city
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.
To begin
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 with causes of
traffic
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congestion
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.
Firstly
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,
location
Correct article usage
the location
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 of
companies
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 and
organizations
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 is one of the most important
traffic
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problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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. Numerous
companies
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 and
organizations
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almost
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are almost
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 located in inner-
city
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 for more convenient
transportation
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.
Secondly
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, jobs are usually in
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city
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the city
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 lead to
densely
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dense
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 population in there.
Population
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The population
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 is the most important factor that directly
affect
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affects
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to
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apply
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the
transportation
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system
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 both private and public transportations. Two big problems result in heavy
traffic
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congestion
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 especially,
on
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during
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rush hour. Many
people
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stuck
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are stuck
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in
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on
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 the road at the same time because
the
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of the
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 working hour that
start
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starts
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 and
get
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gets
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 off simultaneously.
Thirdly
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,
another
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other
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 factors are poor
transportation
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system
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 and
high
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the high
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cost
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 of
transportation
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 that cause
of
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apply
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many
people
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choose
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to choose
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 to use private
car
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cars
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 more than public
transportation
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. Another with suggestions about resolve
traffic
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problem
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.
Firstly
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, the government should control the number of
companies
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 and
organizations
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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located in the
city
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.
Companies
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 and
organizations
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 should move to
local
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the local
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area
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areas
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.
In addition
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, it not only decreases
traffic
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problem
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problems
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,
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apply
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 but
also
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 promotes
distribution
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the distribution
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 of prosperity to the region.
Besides
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, the distribution of prosperity to
region
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the region
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 can reduce
traffic
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problem
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problems
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 and can
also
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 distribute income into the rural.
Therefore
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, if
countryside
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the countryside
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 has higher work demand, workers will migrate to find jobs.
Finally
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, the government should produce and control
transportation
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system
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systems
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both
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for both
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 qualitative service and price.
However
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, if
better
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a better
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transportation
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system
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, good service and low
transportation
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cost
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,
people
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 will more consume public
transportation
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. In conclusion,
traffic
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 jam is a big
problem
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 that affects the quality of
people
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 life in metropolis especially, on a rush hour. The main causes lead to
traffic
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congestion
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 including
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a cluster
the cluster
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cluster
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clusters
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 of
companies
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, densely folks, poor public
transportation
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 and pricey
transportation
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cost
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. Better ways to reduce
traffic
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congestion
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 in a large
city
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 include more distribution of
companies
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 to
local
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the local
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 area and improve about
transportation
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system
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 and
cost
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.
Submitted by ploypanut on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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