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Band 4.5

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

#city #traffic #congestion
It is argued that one of the big
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
people
 that living in the capital is
traffic
Add an article
a traffic
the traffic
show examples
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. Nowadays numerous
people
 have a dream to stay with
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable
show examples
 life and many facilities in a big
city
. Leading to
people
 prefer to stay in a large
city
 especially, in
Correct article usage
the inner-city
show examples
inner-
Correct your spelling
inner city
show examples
city
.
This
 essay will focus on discussion about causes of
traffic
congestion
 and ways to solve
traffic
Add an article
the traffic
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in a large
city
.
To begin
 with causes of
traffic
congestion
.
Firstly
,
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 of
companies
 and
organizations
 is one of the most important
traffic
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
. Numerous
companies
 and
organizations
almost
Add a missing verb
are almost
show examples
 located in inner-
city
 for more convenient
transportation
.
Secondly
, jobs are usually in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 lead to
densely
Change the adverb
dense
show examples
 population in there.
Population
Add an article
The population
show examples
 is the most important factor that directly
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
transportation
system
 both private and public transportations. Two big problems result in heavy
traffic
congestion
 especially,
on
Change preposition
during
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rush hour. Many
people
stuck
Add a missing verb
are stuck
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the road at the same time because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 working hour that
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 and
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 off simultaneously.
Thirdly
,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 factors are poor
transportation
system
 and
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
cost
 of
transportation
 that cause
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many
people
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
show examples
 to use private
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 more than public
transportation
. Another with suggestions about resolve
traffic
problem
.
Firstly
, the government should control the number of
companies
 and
organizations
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
located in the
city
.
Companies
 and
organizations
 should move to
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
In addition
, it not only decreases
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 promotes
distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
 of prosperity to the region.
Besides
, the distribution of prosperity to
region
Add an article
the region
show examples
 can reduce
traffic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 and can
also
 distribute income into the rural.
Therefore
, if
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 has higher work demand, workers will migrate to find jobs.
Finally
, the government should produce and control
transportation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
 qualitative service and price.
However
, if
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
transportation
system
, good service and low
transportation
cost
,
people
 will more consume public
transportation
. In conclusion,
traffic
 jam is a big
problem
 that affects the quality of
people
 life in metropolis especially, on a rush hour. The main causes lead to
traffic
congestion
 including
Add an article
a cluster
the cluster
show examples
cluster
Fix the agreement mistake
clusters
show examples
 of
companies
, densely folks, poor public
transportation
 and pricey
transportation
cost
. Better ways to reduce
traffic
congestion
 in a large
city
 include more distribution of
companies
 to
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 area and improve about
transportation
system
 and
cost
.
Submitted by ploypanut on

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  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
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