All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that school teaches children a skill but others think having a range of subjects is better for the children's future. Discuss both sides.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #school #skill #range #subjects #future

In the midst of

this

technology-driven global world, education and skills play an important role in deciding

progress

Correct article usage

the progress

show examples

of children's

future

. Each and every

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

wish to give their best for their children,not only

curriculam

Correct your spelling

curriculum

curricular

activities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

extracurricular activities. Admittedly, some people are thinking that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

minimum of one skill,children should get to learn from school ,

however

, others have

opinion

Add an article

the opinion

an opinion

show examples

that for better

future

they should learn different verity of

subject

Add an article

the subject

a subject

show examples

. In

this

essay, I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views with their benefits. On the one hand, kids are going to school to learn new things for their better

future

by securing a good job. All

guardiance

Correct your spelling

guardians

guardian

want their kids to get good schooling, for that, they are ready to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

even more money. Apparently ,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

teaching only academic things won't help all the graduates to reach their

goal

Fix the agreement mistake

goals

show examples

and succeed in their life. So, they should get to know what

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

they have and in which field they are interested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. Only teachers can help them to train their skills,in which they are interested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

As a result

, they will just blow in

future

without any hurdles.

On the other hand

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

, it is always better to know

Add an article

the

show examples

huge verity of

subjects

from

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age,

tschool

Correct your spelling

school

going pupil get more knowledge about various

subjects

. At the same time, after the basics, students should get the freedom to choose the subject in which they want to study and make a

future

otherwise

, it will be an additional burden for them to study unwanted or uninterested things,which will simply

screwed

Change the verb form

be screwed

screw

show examples

up their time. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, if a kid

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a special skill ,

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

should support it and help to reach as top as they can.

Similarly

, having more range of

subjects

also

help students to get to know more about each

subjects

Change to a singular noun

subject

show examples

and they can decide with which subject they should choose to achieve their goal

hence

the can have a better

future

Submitted by chinnucw on Wed Aug 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
People will never be willing to make the dramatic lifestyle changes needed to control climate change .For this reasons ,governments must force people to do so.To what extent do you agree or disagree.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are some people who argue that the government must force its citizens to make significant improvement of lifestyle changes to control climate change. The argument stems from the negative habit of the civilians who neglect their responsibility to protect the nature, for example the ones who overused their jets privilege. With that being said, my stance align with those who agree on this matter.
7
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opnion
It is often argued that giving kids the freedom to make decisions for things that directly affect them is not a wise choice as it makes them more self-centred; however, others disagree and opine that it can help them to make better decisions in future. This essay agrees that children are not rational enough to make their own decisions and allowing them to do so makes them stubborn.
7
band
Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view
Zoos have long been a part of human culture, yet their existence now sparks significant debate. Some argue that zoos play a crucial role in conserving and studying various species, while others contend that confining animals away from their natural habitats is inherently cruel. In my opinion, animals should live in their natural environments, and therefore, zoos should be abolished.
6
band
In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In the nowadays dynamic job market, it is getting more common for people to relocate to a new place in order to secure employment, which results in the separation from their loved ones. While many think that this trend costs individuals emotionally and financially, I believe that the advantage of potential earnings and better job opportunities could overshadow the difficulties.
6
band
You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which conatined some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter - correct the information in the article -explain wy it is important for the magazine to give correct information -suggest what the magazine should do about this situation
I want to refer to the article "Places to visit in Gulshan Iqbal Town" published in your international travel magzine last week. I want to clarify that the visiting hours for Aircraft Museum is from 11:00AM to 9:00PM on weekdays and from 10:00AM to 08:00PM on weekends.

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that school teaches children a skill but others think having a range of subjects is better for the children's future. Discuss both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?