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Band 5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect
The notion concerning that electronic
games
 seems to trigger a considerable debate. A cluster of
like minded
Add a hyphen
like-minded
show examples
people
 voice that playing
video
games
 look
a
Change preposition
like a
show examples
greate
Correct your spelling
great
 educational mode for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
However
, others take a dim view
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it and opine that
video
games
 put an adverse effect on
people
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
day
 by
day
. The upcoming paragraphs will
anylse
Correct your spelling
analyse
 both twain side in advance of my personal
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
. The proponents of
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 view claim that nowadays , electronic
games
 are very famous with youngsters as well as online
games
. To explain it, if they playing
games
 online so they will be more productive as compared to before as well as they can think smartly and they use their brain more .
As a result
 , it will be put
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 impact on
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 like they can
rejovinate
Correct your spelling
rejuvenate
 their mind in
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 world and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a great fun.
secondly
, if they play online
games
 they can make new
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 .
Nevertheless
, many an individual does not follow suit and opine that
craze
Correct article usage
the craze
show examples
 of
video
games
 increasing
day
 by
day
 in between every age group .
In other words
,
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 spend more
time
 of their lives
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
video
games
 it usher in more problems in public
life
 , be it
mentaly
Correct your spelling
mentally
mental
 and physically .
For example
, if they setting
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
time
 to play
video
games
 so they can not eat properly if they may not take care of their health so in those situations health hazards can come due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 put cast an adverse impact on their
life
.
Moreover
, spending more
time
 on
games
 create a big
hazads
Correct your spelling
hazards
hazard
 in their
life
. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, they might
be not fully focus
Change the verb form
be not fully focused
be not fully focusing
show examples
 on their study and they can not put
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
 and academic performance will be poor .
hence
,
games
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 proven to
bane
Add an article
a bane
show examples
 for society
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it will be
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
people
 always glued to with
games
 they would not be able to do best in their
life
. At
last
, it can be summed up that no doubt
games
 have some advantage in
people
life
 , but it is logical to assume that
games
 are very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 echelons
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it making
people
life
dhump
Correct your spelling
dump
thump
 .
Submitted by brarraju60 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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