Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?
Since time immemorial, the pattern of living and living style has been changing day by day.
Consequently
, in this
day and age, a large number of people are staying in different big cities away from their families
. The desire for higher studies and better working opportunities are the predominant reasons behind this
phenomenon, creating many personal and family problems.
One of the cogent reasons for living away from parents and other members is to pursue tertiary education. To be more precise, inasmuch as, in rural areas, reputed universities along with
state of
Correct your spelling
state-of-the-art
the
amenities are not established, youngsters have to move to central cities in order to achieve higher degrees, causing a gap between family members. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 90% of rural students every year leave their hometown so as to gain a higher degree, leading them to live alone in a new area. Apart from that, with a view to earning more, some individuals migrate to another country, causing a large distance from family members. They leave their homeland in that they do not get the proper value of their skills and qualifications. Correct article usage
apply
Thus
, so as to gain knowledge and money, individuals have to live alone apart from families
.
Correct pronoun usage
their families
This
tendency indubitably has many detrimental repercussions on a person’s life as well as
his or her family. For a start, insofar as individuals have to struggle alone in another city, they cannot share their feelings, emotions or any issues with their loved ones, leading them to face mental stress and depression. To exemplify, researchers around the world have found that much as overseas students have potentials
, they usually cannot do well in exams because of missing parents and having stress. Fix the agreement mistake
potential
As well as
that, parents also
have to stay in old-age homes in their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
advanced
age down to not Replace the word
advance
getting
help from their children, creating more dysfunctional Wrong verb form
get
families
and ununited
society. In Correct article usage
an ununited
this
way, the
family bonding is Correct article usage
apply
losing
gradually.
In conclusion, inasmuch as more people now want to achieve higher education and earn money, they have to stay away from Wrong verb form
lost
families
, which is not good for them and their families
.Submitted by shawlin90 on
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task response
The essay partially responds to the task with some relevant points, but the development lacks depth and clarity. Use specific and relevant examples to support the points.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is not fully clear, and there is limited use of cohesive devices. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are linked logically throughout the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.