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Band 4

Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children ? What can be done to solve this problem?.

#parents #computer #games #movies #leisure #activities #impact #children
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Everything in
this
Linking Words
 life
have
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has
show examples
 a bright side and a dark side even humanity have an angel and a demon side.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, Any item in
this
Linking Words
 life you can use it
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
good
Add an article
the good
show examples
 way and bad way.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the knife can be used for cocking and make
a nice food
Remove the article
nice food
a portion of nice food
show examples
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it can be used
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 kill people and make disaster for
other family
Change the wording
another family
other families
show examples
 so
it's depend
Change the verb form
it depends
show examples
 on
user
Add an article
the user
show examples
. The power of video
games
Use synonyms
 is incredible. there are many kinds of
games
Use synonyms
 and there are so
meny
Correct your spelling
many
 benefits you can get from
games
Use synonyms
. there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 called school play .It's a mix of teaching and
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 fun time for children. other
games
Use synonyms
 called focusing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 help kids to
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
specifica
Correct your spelling
specific
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
fun
Add an article
the fun
a fun
show examples
 and make
thiar
Correct your spelling
this
that
their
a fingers
Correct the article-noun agreement
fingers
a finger
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster. Some
games
Use synonyms
 give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager some
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 and they have to pass through
challange
Correct your spelling
challenges
 to get
reward
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the reward
a reward
show examples
.
this
Linking Words
is grow
Change the verb form
is growing
show examples
 up the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
hard work and not give up
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
horriable
Correct your spelling
horrible
 work. all these
games
Use synonyms
 target
adulecent
Correct your spelling
adolescent
 not adult
players
Use synonyms
 but there are so many
games
Use synonyms
coutain
Correct your spelling
contain
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
, drugs and even
sexuel
Correct your spelling
sexual
containt
Correct your spelling
content
. Why do
games
Use synonyms
 contain
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
horrible part? Because these
types
Use synonyms
 of
games
Use synonyms
aimming
Correct your spelling
aiming
adulat
Correct your spelling
adult
players
Use synonyms
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 called +18
players
Use synonyms
bussnis
Correct your spelling
business
. It's not for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, so many parents
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't check which
types
Use synonyms
 of
games
Use synonyms
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
childrent
Correct your spelling
children
 have? All parents most
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
check the
games
Use synonyms
 before bought from
shop
Add an article
the shop
a shop
show examples
 and give
Correct your spelling
advice
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 to
thair
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 children about
games
Use synonyms
. Summary.there are so many kinds of
games
Use synonyms
 . each play
aimming
Correct your spelling
aiming
 specific age and
types
Use synonyms
 of
players
Use synonyms
.so parents have to check
games
Use synonyms
 before bought to thair children.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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