Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Most

people

believe that

music

can bring humans from different cultures and range of ages. In my personal view, I personally agree because of these three major reasons which will be examined.

Firstly

, it is apparent that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

in the world love listening to

music

, because sounds from

music

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

happiness

Add an article

the happiness

show examples

of someone listen to them. As the result, when

people

feel comfortable

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

listening to

music

, they will not be nervous,

therefore

, it will be easier to

communicating

Change the form of the verb

communicate

show examples

with

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

people

from other cultures.

Furthermore

people

who love listening to the same kind of song with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

, from

this

point,

people

will start to communicate with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

that

causes

Change the verb form

cause

show examples

by sounds.

In addition

, we will see that there have been many concerts or

cerebrations

Correct your spelling

celebrations

show examples

happened for many past of years, they have brought

people

from several countries together.

Hence

, there will be new interactions from joining the concerts.

For example

Big

Correct article usage

the Big

show examples

mountain

music

festival is one the biggest concerts in Thailand,

this

concert interests many

people

from any part of Thailand,

therefore

, they will be together in

this

place,

that is

the cause of new relationships

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

be happened

Change to the active voice

happen

have happened

show examples

. To conclude. I personally believe that

music

has

Correct article usage

the

show examples

potential to bring

people

from different cultures and ages together. When

people

love the same things to each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

, they will have an interaction which will make new relationships of

people

over the world.

Submitted by thitiwatpava on Thu Aug 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

In many countries, there is an increase in the proportion of ageing population. Some people think that old people over the age of sixty-five cannot contribute to our society any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?