In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development

It will become increasingly popular for the elderly who live in many parts of the world in the upcoming years. From my perspective, I believe that the positive and negative effects have existed as two faces of a coin. Admittedly, the number of senior

citizens

growing in popularity has several points in its favour.

To begin

with, the elderly have

pleasure

Add an article

the pleasure

show examples

to do charity for the sake of

whole

Correct article usage

the whole

show examples

society.

For instance

, groups of the elder people established

provide

Add the particle

to provide

show examples

a free supportive resource for educating poor children and cleaning up.

Moreover

, they are familiar with traditional cultures and ways of life.

In other words

, aged

citizens

understand cultural essence

as well as moral values and they

Add the comma(s)

, as well as moral values and they,

show examples

play a crucial role in preserving and passing them on

young

Change preposition

to young

show examples

generations.

On the other hand

, negative consequences of

this

development should be taken into consideration.

First

and foremost, an increase in pension benefits and a greater demand for health care services. To be specific, aged

citizens

are unable to keep contributing to

country’s

Correct article usage

the country’s

show examples

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

growth because of their poor health and they have to live on their offspring and social welfare under the form of pension.

Last

but not least,

Add an article

an aging

show examples

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population can result in a shrinking number of young people

Change preposition

show examples

working age and labour shortage.

This

means that there are many job vacancies in many fields and causing severe economic stagnation. In summary, not only does a higher percentage of senior

citizens

bring benefits, but

also

has detrimental effects on

nation’s

Correct article usage

the nation’s

show examples

economic and labour resources.

Submitted by Hoài Nhi on Mon Aug 23 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

We should return to traditional and older values of respect for family and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries around the world, income inequality is a growing issue. What are the causes of income inequality and how it can be dealt with?