IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

**These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?**

#**these #people #computer #telephone #job #home
These days,
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very develop all
the
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 world. Everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own laptop and smartphone. It
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 many benefits for
people
 during
this
time
. They can
work
 from
home
 with their computer.
However
, anything always
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 both sides.
This
 essay will explain the pros and cons of working at
home
. In my opinion, the benefits of working from
home
 help
people
 quite easy to connect with their partners or boss through social networking
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
: Facebook, Skypes, Zalo... A few
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 back, the
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
 make
people
 stay at
home
 because it is
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 to spread very high. So during
this
time
, anyone must
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
show examples
 at
home
 depend on their laptop or smartphone to
work
.
Besides
 that, when they do not waste their
time
 to go
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 office, they just stay at
home
 to
work
 through technology, they spend their
time
 with family. Because they can control their
time
 to
work
, so they do not worry about that.
On the other hand
, there could be some impediments to
this
.
Therefore
, they can control their
time
 but it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
 do not focus on their jobs. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 works slower, it will not go according to the plan that was discussed. Because of working at
home
 for a long
time
, the
people
 will
also
 get bored and stressed over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 since there would be no physical social interactions and meetings. In conclusion, working from a place of residence does result in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of social interactions and distress, it greatly proves to be advantageous for most
people
 in helping them to streamline their daily routine better at their own comfort.
Hence
,
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 effects of working at
home
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 the drawbacks.
Submitted by thaohuyen866 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: