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Writing Samples
Band 5

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure
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In most cases,
people
 tend to direct others as successful individuals once they have
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of money. In my take of ,
view
Add an article
a view
the view
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 I do not think
wealth
 can be used as a measurement of
succeed
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success
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.
However
, there are a variety of merits that can be used to know whether a person
successful
Add a missing verb
is successful
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 or not
such
 as good
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 with relatives along with the level of education that a person has.
To begin
 with, it is an incorrect way to judge
people
 based on their
wealth
. Many
people
 are far too numerous to mention, have a huge
wealth
 but they struggling in many parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
life
such
 as a
health
 condition and failed relations. To illustrate, rich men are always focusing on their businesses rather than their
health
 or families which is resulting in difficulties throughout their
life
.
Hence
, neither a huge bank account nor luxury detail surrounding your
life
 can be a fair measure of
success
. In terms of the right way of measuring a successful individual, having a good family with lovely kids is the most important measure of
success
. I believe that
success
 is when you reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
retired
Replace the word
retirement
show examples
 age with a strong circle of families and friends who stand with you
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of your
life
. Another factor to consider is body
health
 in general. being rich without
a
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apply
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physical
health
 is not successful at all while having good
health
 with little money is a sign that means that a person almost
achieve
Change the verb form
achieves
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 his goals in
lifetime
Correct pronoun usage
his lifetime
show examples
. In conclusion, good relations with family and friends could be a perfect method to measure whether
people
 succeed or not .
However
, taking
wealth
 as a measurement of
success
 is incorrect way.
Submitted by t.g.alanazi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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