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Writing Samples
Band 5

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure
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In most cases,
people
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 tend to direct others as successful individuals once they have
a
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apply
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plenty of money. In my take of ,
view
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a view
the view
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 I do not think
wealth
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 can be used as a measurement of
succeed
Replace the word
success
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.
However
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, there are a variety of merits that can be used to know whether a person
successful
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is successful
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 or not
such
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 as good
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 with relatives along with the level of education that a person has.
To begin
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 with, it is an incorrect way to judge
people
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 based on their
wealth
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. Many
people
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 are far too numerous to mention, have a huge
wealth
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 but they struggling in many parts
in
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of
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 their
life
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such
Linking Words
 as a
health
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 condition and failed relations. To illustrate, rich men are always focusing on their businesses rather than their
health
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 or families which is resulting in difficulties throughout their
life
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.
Hence
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, neither a huge bank account nor luxury detail surrounding your
life
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 can be a fair measure of
success
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. In terms of the right way of measuring a successful individual, having a good family with lovely kids is the most important measure of
success
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. I believe that
success
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 is when you reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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retired
Replace the word
retirement
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 age with a strong circle of families and friends who stand with you
in
Change preposition
for
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 the rest of your
life
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. Another factor to consider is body
health
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 in general. being rich without
a
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apply
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physical
health
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 is not successful at all while having good
health
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 with little money is a sign that means that a person almost
achieve
Change the verb form
achieves
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 his goals in
lifetime
Correct pronoun usage
his lifetime
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. In conclusion, good relations with family and friends could be a perfect method to measure whether
people
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 succeed or not .
However
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, taking
wealth
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 as a measurement of
success
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 is incorrect way.
Submitted by t.g.alanazi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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