IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behavior? What can be done to address this situation?

#countries #children #show #respect #elders #behavior #address #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people are living in a society that
don'
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 recognize the
importance
Use synonyms
 of
values
Use synonyms
. One of the main
values
Use synonyms
 whose lack is more visible around the world is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Respect
Use synonyms
. It is actually a sad
situation
Use synonyms
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect
Use synonyms
 is the basis of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
, if we don'
t
Use synonyms
respect
Use synonyms
 each other, we will cross the line between their
freedom
Use synonyms
 and ours.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, analyzing
familiy's
Correct your spelling
family's
 structure can be
obsererved
Correct your spelling
observed
 that
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in children is
consequence
Add an article
a consequence
the consequence
show examples
 of the
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of their
parents
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
, the lack of
values
Use synonyms
 that we are living in the actual world, is a consequence of the greater
importance
Use synonyms
 that we are giving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 is an
importan
Correct your spelling
important
 value, we can'
t
Use synonyms
 give more
importance
Use synonyms
 than we give to the rest of
values
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
respect
Use synonyms
 or
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
. It is
this
Linking Words
 relevance that we have
gave
Change the verb form
given
show examples
 to the
freedom
Use synonyms
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 had
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 the world in a place
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
values
Use synonyms
. Thereby we find children on the street who don'
t
Use synonyms
respect
Use synonyms
 anybody, and they think that can do whatever they want,
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
 consequences.
Second
Linking Words
, when we analyze the family's
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, we found that even there is no
respect
Use synonyms
 between fathers and sons, so what can we expect from the son toward their grandparents if they always look
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 acting
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
respect
Use synonyms
 toward their own
parents
Use synonyms
. The example is the principal way to learn
values
Use synonyms
,
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 learn by repeating
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if my son looks at me, always
anger
Replace the word
angry
show examples
 and impatient when I come back home, they will repeat
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 when they arrive from their school. To conclude, giving a look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the general
situation
Use synonyms
, can be seen that if we reinforce the
importance
Use synonyms
 of
the others
Change to a genitive case
the values of the other
the other's values
show examples
values
Use synonyms
 we can address
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
. Incorporating subjects in
schooll
Correct your spelling
school
 since early years we can give to the kids the knowledge that they need to turn in a good way
this
Linking Words
situation
Use synonyms
.
Add a hyphen
In-home
show examples
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
 must escape from their routines and get time to share with their sons and teaching the
values
Use synonyms
 as
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 that
complements
Change the verb form
complement
show examples
 each other.
Submitted by ja.rios903 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: