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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Drinks
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 that have
high
Add an article
a high
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 proportion of
sugar
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 are immensely popular in all ages.
Hence
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, a segment of society opines that high charges should be imposed on the products to discourage the consumption of
sugar
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. I disagree with the aforementioned statement for the following reasons. The
first
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 and foremost reason is that elevating the price
on
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of
show examples
 sugary
drinks
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 is not the effective solution
of
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 consumption; people especially toddlers are very fond of sweeteners like candies,
slurrpies
Correct your spelling
slurries
 and other fruits juices which are packed in plastic bags.
Therefore
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, the inflation in charges might increase another financial burden on parents;
instead
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, folks should be informed
the
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of the
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 side effects of high intake of
sugar
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 on health. To illustrate, the populace who intakes high
sugar
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 in their daily routine might face
health related
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health-related
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 disorders like obesity and diabetes and
such
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 chronic diseases resulting in degeneration of crucial body parts.
Thus
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, a
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 should be started by the government to make the public acknowledge regarding serious outcomes of
this
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 pattern. Another solution is that
,
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apply
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 teachers should make some efforts to educate youngsters how
such
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drinks
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 are harmful to our health; as tutors can incite adolescents to have
healthy
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a healthy
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 diet and avoid sugary products in a more effective and strategic manner than their parents. Apart from that, the government should monitor the making process of
such
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 soft
drinks
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 like soda closely and strict
regulation
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regulations
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 are put in place in order to check the quality and the proportion of added flavours and contents.
Also
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, the percentage of added flavours and content should be labelled properly, so that a customer should familiar
what
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with what
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 he is inhaling before buying them. To conclude
then
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, to curb the high
cosumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
sugar
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, the authorities and schools should make propelling efforts to educate
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and toddlers to minimise the intake of
such
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drinks
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 respectfully. The authorities must keep
close
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a close
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 eye on the procedures, qualities and quantity of
such
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 soft
drinks
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 in order to keep their citizens safe.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sugary drinks, sugar-sweetened beverages, soft drinks
  • Health consequences, obesity, diabetes, dental health
  • Government intervention, public health, deterrent
  • Sin taxes, levies, fiscal policies
  • Equity, accessibility, low-income communities
  • Consumer behavior, dietary habits
  • Education campaigns, public awareness
  • Beverage industry, economic impact
  • Paternalism, autonomy, personal choice
  • Global trends, international policies
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