IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land an in sea. What are the problems and solutions?

#species #activities #land #sea
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These
Change the determiner
This dayse
show examples
dayse
Correct your spelling
days
, it seems that many species of
cretures
Correct your spelling
creatures
 and
vegtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 are in
dengerd
Correct your spelling
danger
 of
extenction
Correct your spelling
extinction
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of humans activities
such
 as
illiegal
Correct your spelling
illegal
 hunting and wasting
trush
Correct your spelling
trash
. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
several
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
 associated with
this
 trend and some viable
remedis
Correct your spelling
remedies
remedy
 would be mentioned. It is an
undenuable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
 fact that peoples have negative effects on nature
speasally
Correct your spelling
specially
especially
 on the extinction of creatures.
first
 of all,
industrilazationa
Correct your spelling
industrialization
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the population of individuals result in more
sourses
Correct your spelling
sources
courses
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. In fact,
this
phenomenone
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 empower to destroy
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 of
natures
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 land to provide
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
show examples
 place for
agriculature
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 and
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
manufactuers
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
. The more people destroy
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
, the greater the chance of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 being
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk of
died
Change the form of the verb
dying
show examples
.
seconedly
Correct your spelling
secondly
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 do not understand the importance of
indengerd
Correct your spelling
endangered
 animals and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 habitats so they do not any temptation to save them.
Finally
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourist
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
 are in
dengerd
Correct your spelling
danger
 of
destrouyed
Correct your spelling
destroyed
 by tourist
such
 as Rife
coural
Correct your spelling
coral
 in Newzland.
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of many trash
releasied
Correct your spelling
released
 in nature by visitors many types of fishes lives there for
millions
Add the preposition
ofmillions
show examples
 years are thrithend. In terms of solutions,
firstly
 ,governments should
introuduse
Correct your spelling
introduce
 harsh lows for protecting environment
such
 as control the amount of waste
relased
Correct your spelling
released
related
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 manufactured to the rivers or planting trees after cut them for a new agricultural area and penalized illegal hunter seriously. A
secound
Correct your spelling
second
 remedy would be that, if individuals
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
awareness
Replace the word
aware
show examples
 about
indengerd
Correct your spelling
endangered
 animals and finding
hany
Correct your spelling
any
 solution to protect them they
diffently
Correct your spelling
directly
differently
 try to do it and it
woyld
Correct your spelling
would
 be probable by running
campagin
Correct your spelling
campaign
campaigns
 in the cities and teaching
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 from early ages at school.
Finally
, tourist regulation should be changed to protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 by
restrict
Change the verb form
restricting
show examples
 visiting
such
 places with any people. In conclusion, humans
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
 many problems lead to
thritend
Correct your spelling
threatened
 animals and plant.
However
, there are some possible ways to tackle these problems.
Submitted by par206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: