IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree?

There are several
opines
Replace the word
opinions
show examples
about
Change preposition
that
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Computer
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 should be added to become a primary subject in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elementary school
such
Linking Words
 as math, reading and writing.
Overall
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
computer
Use synonyms
 skill is very important to
pupils
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
revolution
Replace the word
revolutionary
show examples
 industry 4.0
era
Use synonyms
. Today, the revolution
industry
Change preposition
of industry
show examples
 4.0 has begun
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
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 our
world
Use synonyms
, people in
this
Linking Words
era
Use synonyms
 should know and not
blind
Add a missing verb
be blind
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
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 Information technology especially
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 many regions in the
world
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 ready
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
shopesticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
era
Use synonyms
. Not only children that can’t operate the
computer
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 many adult people around the
world
Use synonyms
 can’t how
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 works.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
Use synonyms
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 us grow rapidly with the technology which
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
premier communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other. And government has made a new decision about national
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
 that must
use
Use synonyms
 a
computer
Use synonyms
 as a
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
 for the examination.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
,
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 will help almost all of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, especially our work. Either
pupils
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
Add an article
a
the
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
 to help
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 work or just
use
Use synonyms
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
 learn other subjects with
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
 that can be read by the
computer
Use synonyms
.
Computer
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 needed for all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 to operate several things that help people to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work easier. In conclusion, I think
computer
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very important for
pupils
Use synonyms
 to communicate in
this
Linking Words
 modern
era
Use synonyms
. Not only about reading, writing and math which make
pupils
Use synonyms
 smart in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, but
also
Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
 that can make children smarter when they
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 to help them study.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital literacy
  • proficient
  • curriculum integration
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • digital citizenship
  • foundational subjects
  • cognitive development
  • responsible technology use
  • educational software
  • interactive learning
  • future education and career
  • technical knowledge
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