Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree?

#people #computer #skills #subjects #school #math

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are several

opines

Replace the word

opinions

show examples

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

Computer

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

should be added to become a primary subject in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elementary school

such

Linking Words

as math, reading and writing.

Overall

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

strongly agree that

computer

Use synonyms

skill is very important to

pupils

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

revolution

Replace the word

revolutionary

show examples

industry 4.0

era

Use synonyms

. Today, the revolution

industry

Change preposition

of industry

show examples

4.0 has begun

develop

Fix the infinitive

to develop

show examples

our

world

Use synonyms

, people in

this

Linking Words

era

Use synonyms

should know and not

blind

Add a missing verb

be blind

show examples

about

Change preposition

show examples

Information technology especially

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

computer

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

many regions in the

world

Use synonyms

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

ready

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

shopesticated

Correct your spelling

sophisticated

era

Use synonyms

. Not only children that can’t operate the

computer

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

many adult people around the

world

Use synonyms

can’t how

Use synonyms

computer

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

works.

Furthermore

Linking Words

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

era

Use synonyms

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

us grow rapidly with the technology which

Use synonyms

use

Change the verb form

uses

show examples

Use synonyms

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

premier communication

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other. And government has made a new decision about national

examination

Fix the agreement mistake

examinations

show examples

that must

use

Use synonyms

computer

Use synonyms

as a

tools

Correct the article-noun agreement

tool

show examples

for the examination.

Despite

Correct pronoun usage

Despite this

show examples

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

will help almost all of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, especially our work. Either

pupils

Use synonyms

can

use

Use synonyms

Add an article

the

show examples

computer

Use synonyms

to help

their

Change preposition

with their

show examples

work or just

use

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

it to

show examples

learn other subjects with

e-book

Fix the agreement mistake

e-books

show examples

that can be read by the

computer

Use synonyms

Computer

Use synonyms

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

was

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

needed for all

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

in the

world

Use synonyms

to operate several things that help people to make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work easier. In conclusion, I think

computer

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

very important for

pupils

Use synonyms

to communicate in

this

Linking Words

modern

era

Use synonyms

. Not only about reading, writing and math which make

pupils

Use synonyms

smart in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school, but

also

Linking Words

computer

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

that can make children smarter when they

used

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

to help them study.

Submitted by auzanghiffari on Mon Aug 30 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

249 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.
The rules about turning down job applicants because of their ages differ from country to country. Some places have laws against this kind of discrimination to ensure fairness at work
7.5
band
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless o[ whether the course is useful to an employee. well in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
Opinions differ on who is responsible for educating children about a healthy diet. It is often argued that this is the job of parents, whilst others disagree and think teachers should be in charge of that task. This essay agrees that healthy eating habits taught by parents are the most beneficial method.
5.5
band
A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?
Although holidaymakers contribute hugely to the economies of many popular destinations, the influx of tourists can also cause serious issues. This essay will demonstrate how tourism can transform the economy of poor areas but will show that it can also lead to a marked increase in crime. Although this problem is a significant one, the essay argues that the advantages of tourism do outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
Smoking is injurious to health and especially to the community. Individuals think that such resistance is valid. In my opinion, I contend with this statement as smoking is detrimental to one's health and passive smokers suffer when smokers decide to smoke in public places. Moreover, this restriction aids smokers to quit smoking.
4.5
band
In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Nowadays, the private sector is doing notable work in scientific exploration. Some expound that it is a good development because they can invest more in research work, while others oppose this due to the security vulnerability. I equivocate the latter notion and believe that demerits outweigh the merits. In this essay, I shall propagate my viewpoint with reasons.

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?