Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading, writing and math. How far do you agree or disagree?

There are several
opines
Replace the word
opinions
show examples
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
Computer
skills
should be added to become a primary subject in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elementary school
such
as math, reading and writing.
Overall
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly agree that
computer
skill is very important to
pupils
in
this
revolution
Replace the word
revolutionary
show examples
industry 4.0
era
. Today, the revolution
industry
Change preposition
of industry
show examples
4.0 has begun
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
show examples
our
world
, people in
this
era
should know and not
blind
Add a missing verb
be blind
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
Information technology especially
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
computer
skills
.
However
many regions in the
world
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
ready
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
shopesticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
era
. Not only children that can’t operate the
computer
but
also
many adult people around the
world
can’t how
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
works.
Furthermore
,
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
era
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us grow rapidly with the technology which
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
premier communication
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
each other. And government has made a new decision about national
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
that must
use
a
computer
as a
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
for the examination.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this
show examples
,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
will help almost all of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, especially our work. Either
pupils
can
use
Add an article
a
the
show examples
computer
to help
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
work or just
use
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
learn other subjects with
e-book
Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
show examples
that can be read by the
computer
.
Computer
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
needed for all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
in the
world
to operate several things that help people to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work easier. In conclusion, I think
computer
skills
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
very important for
pupils
to communicate in
this
modern
era
. Not only about reading, writing and math which make
pupils
smart in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, but
also
computer
skills
that can make children smarter when they
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
to help them study.
Submitted by auzanghiffari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!