Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

Recently, there is an ongoing debate whether it is important to get a good
job
environment and pleasing
job
and or to get a
job
with good wages. I believe the way people’s thinking influences is somehow to consider their decisions for
this
matter, especially their definitions in
happiness
and satisfaction in the
job
.
This
essay, as my opinion leads to, will try to elaborate both views with some considerations as I agree that
enjoyable
Correct article usage
an enjoyable
show examples
job
is better. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have a
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that
money
can bring anything including
happiness
. They have dreams to buy luxury goods
such
as big houses, limited edition cars, updated gadgets or even to collect
prestige
Replace the word
prestigious
show examples
belongings like rare paintings, sculptures, and something like that, and through
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
they will feel happy because their stratification in society increasing. These kinds of mindsets can lead to the acknowledgement that bigger payment jobs are better.
However
, to think
materialism
Change preposition
of materialism
show examples
as the goal of life is not relevant in my point of view because enjoyment might not be bought by a piece of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
called dollars. Psychologists explained that if we think
money
can afford anything, it will be a well-known agreement that the rich are the
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
class gaining the happiest life, but in the fact, in some ways, tells dissimilar. The rich have more risks to get problems in their families, in educating their children, and other relating impacts which all of them are
similarly
inevitable.
This
mindset, the way of thinking that
money
cannot afford
happiness
, can be a locomotive for the believers for finding a
job
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
is convenient to avoid the dire effects. They will look for the
job
with appropriate tasks and deadlines and
also
consider the environment of business even with a low standard of wages. With
happiness
, they can get calmness and
as a result
, they can save
money
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not to buy
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anti-stressed drugs as well as to get into excessive entertainment programs. To sum up, people consider
happiness
as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
input for finding jobs and it will always be better to be a breadwinner in a
job
that someone can find convenient in it.
Submitted by lovejawanda.0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: