IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #improvements #health #education #trade #development #nations #governments #responsibility #areas
In a developing
country
, it’s important to develop our knowledge about
health
, education and stock and the rich
countries
 around the developing
country
 should help them to improve those factors. Overall, I disagree enough with the opinion that other
countries
 which have a good economy should help surrounding
countries
 that are not as rich as them. The developing
countries
 are competing about improving their education to increase their people smarter to change the condition of their
country
 to become better.
However
, one factor isn't enough to encourage the
country
 to improve, it must help
health
 conditions that improve year by year with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
shopestaced
Correct your spelling
shop stacked
 facilities of hospital tools. To increase the economic growth of a
country
, the
country
 must do export-import to manage the
devisa
Correct your spelling
device
 of the
country
 that make the
country
 richer. All of these factors can make the
country
 itself better without help from other rich
countries
 around. Despite, improvements all of the factors need big effort and money to
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a good of the education’s background that make the society smarter and grow the
country
. Healthy growth needs a lot of money to change the
health
 quality of the
country
. And
last
, trade can manage the economic balance of the
country
. In Conclusion, developing
countries
 should improve their condition of
health
, education, and trade.
However
, the improvement should be done by the
country
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
. Without help from
other rich
Change the wording
another rich country
other rich countries
show examples
country
.
Submitted by auzanghiffari on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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