IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time
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It is argued that children should be encouraged by
parents
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 to take part in some
activities
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 in their free
time
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 while some say that it is the
child
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 that needs to develop his interest and occupy themselves with
activities
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 of their own.
This
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 essay agrees that a
child
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 should have the liberty to occupy themselves in their free
time
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 without their
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parents
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parent's
parents'
show examples
 intervention.
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views. During
a
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apply
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young age, children usually have a lot of
time
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 on their plate. It is often seen that during
this
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time
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 they are able to find
activities
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 that they are highly interested in which may
further
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 lead to them pursuing a career in that activity.
As a result
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, letting them learn how to make themselves busy with tasks of their interest helps in shaping their future. I personally found out that my peak interest is in playing chess during my early days as a youngster which helped me pursue a career as a chess player.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 can organise certain events for their young ones which might help in overall development.
However
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, if the
child
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 is uninterested in that activity, it would prove to be a waste of
time
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 for them or
moreover
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 hinder their development in
activities
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 they are interested in.
For example
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, the legendary batsman in the game of cricket named Sachin Tendulkar himself mentioned that he would have achieved more success in cricket if he had not wasted his
time
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 in other sports which his
parents
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 used to send him to play. While the
child
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 is able to understand his niche at an early age by participating in
activities
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 he likes,
intrusion
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the intrusion
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 of
parents
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 in the
child
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's free
time
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 might delay the process. In conclusion, the
child
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 should spend his free
time
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 on his own and if the
parents
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 want to conduct any
activities
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 for their children, they should take into account their
child
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's interests and arrange events
accordingly
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.
Submitted by vaibhav.bhat2097 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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