IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Most people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #punishment #traffic #offences
Hi Emma, I hope you’re doing well! I’m just writing to let you know that I’ve received your letter yesterday. I feel so sorry to hear that you have a problem with your current job.
Let’s
Correct pronoun usage
Let
show examples
 me tell you
this
! For my work
last
 year, I had the same problem
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 you. As
this
 week is your three-month trial period, I understand your feeling because you need to have another training which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 you to feel depressed and stressed. When I started working my
first
 job, I got much pressure about dealing with customers. The thing is I need to work overtime until late
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
.
This
 brings me lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
energy every day.
Also
, I used to receive bad feedback from my manager due to less experience in sales. My advice is you shouldn’t work alone. If you have some questions, you can ask your boss or colleagues.
Otherwise
, you will easily feel down. If you think they give you too much training, please tell them about your expression. Don’t keep it in your mind! I hope my suggestion will be useful for you. Just let me know if you need anything on my end. Best wishes, Mookie
Submitted by jameekorn.insawang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: