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Band 4.5

More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this?

#students #university #study #science #effects
These days,
science
 is one of the most essential factors associated with everyone's life, but the
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
represents
Verb problem
show that
show examples
 several people who study at university do not select to learn
science
.
This
 is a consequence of preference, and
as a result
, it may make the career regard to it lacks employees. One of the causes is the students prefer other fields
such
 as arts, maths and languages. At present, universities have various choices that the students can choose from rather than in the past.
Based the
Verb problem
The
show examples
 local college,
for instance
,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 20 - 30 faculties in different sectors
such
 as humanity, agriculture and so on. The collegians can choose the favourite major that they desire.
Therefore
 the number of collegians who
require
Wrong verb form
are required
show examples
 to study
science
 is decreasing.
As a result
, it may affect employment which is related to
science
. It will stop developing because of the lack of labourers.
For example
, the Dusit poll which is a research company represents the number of employees who desire to work in 5 fields. The first place is the profession of arts which is up to 40%.
On the other hand
,
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 career in
science
 takes the
last
 place
that is
 5%.
Moreover
,
this
 sector is down from the 2 years ago 20%
thus
 the company in
this
 sector will lack employees.
To sum up
, today numerous students do not select to study
science
 in the university because they prefer other faculties.
In addition
, it will impact the company which is related to
this
 field.
Submitted by ramonthapat on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not adequately supported with examples and explanations. There is a need for logical progression and better organization of ideas.
task achievement
The essay partly responds to the task by discussing reasons for the decline in students choosing to study science and its effects. However, the response lacks depth and coherence. More comprehensive and relevant examples and details are needed to adequately address the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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