IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views

#people #responsibility #care #environment #government
In recent
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
, the issue of global warming has increasingly attracted
people
’s attention. Some experts suggest that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental preservation should
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 part by individuals, while others opposed that
this
 problem will be sustainably improved
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the government is the leader to raise awareness.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay shall examine both sides of the argument and
mu
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 opinion in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 will be given. On the one side of the argument, there are a variety of reasons why
people
 should solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues. One of the obvious is that the
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
principle
Correct your spelling
principal
show examples
 cause of negative impacts is pinpointed by the human
races
Fix the agreement mistake
race
show examples
, especially plastic
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 and natural resource depletion. We can clearly see that
people
 tend to use cloth bags
instead
 of plastic ones in order to mitigate a huge waste problem. An illustration of
this
 action is that
Tessco
Correct your spelling
Tesco
 Lotus, the well-known grocery store, encourage
people
 to stop taking plastic bags by getting discount point to the customers. Another compelling is that
people
 normally commute by public transportation
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. It is easy to understand that
this
 development directly
diminishe
Correct your spelling
diminish
diminished
diminishes
 carbon dioxide emissions into the atmosphere, reducing greenhouse gas. A good example of
this
 case is that
Netherland
Correct article usage
the Netherland
show examples
, one of the countries having nature-friendly
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cycling, has been gained abundant
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public collaboration using bikes and other provided transport infrastructures.
On the other hand
, the opposes may argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effective measures to cope with ecological consequences should be exercised by the authority.
This
 may be because of the fact that the government truly has a great potential to control
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the demerit outcomes. To explain,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many developed nations overwhelmingly implement laws and regulations to safeguard pollution of the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
. Perhaps, the clearest of
this
 action is that the
word’s
Correct your spelling
world’s
show examples
 greenest city widely knowing as Singapore has established various measures to overcome ecological impacts especially monitoring
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
 and manufacturing sector releasing toxic
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
 violating in both atmosphere and water. Taking into
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
account
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
, it seems to me that both sides of the argument have their
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
. Personally, I am inclined to believe that
this
 trend
is not only depends
Change the verb form
does not only depend
show examples
 on the individuals but
also
 the government.
Therefore
, it is essential to collaborate between the ministry and the public to take care of the environment.
Submitted by burist.ch on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: