The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

#pupils #school #activities #grades

It is often considered that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

mandatory class attendance is necessary after

school

activities for underachieving

students

to make them more involved in their

school

works and to achieve better grades. I completely agree that attending extra

classes

after

school

should be compulsory because it will help

students

to get

extra

Correct article usage

the extra

show examples

attention

Change preposition

from

show examples

their tutors and they will grow

interest

Change the verb form

interested

show examples

in their studies.

Firstly

, attending

classes

after

school

will give the underachieving pupils a chance to get

special

Correct article usage

the special

show examples

attention of their teachers and to communicate with them. In regular

classes

Add a comma

,classes

show examples

there are many

students

and it is often not possible for a teacher to give full concentration

Change preposition

show examples

every

students

Change to a singular noun

student

show examples

Thus

, some

students

who are a bit

slow

Replace the word

slower

show examples

than others fall back and they do not come forward in the class for their teacher’s help because of shyness.

Therefore

, extra

classes

give the opportunity to both

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

and poor

students

to communicate and overcome their problems. A

student

can ask the teacher any questions without any hesitation and overcome his weakness.

This

will help all the weak

students

to become confident about themselves and encourage them to involve in more

school

activities.

Secondly

, by attending additional

classes

underachieving

students

will get more chances to practice their

school

tasks which will clear their concepts and will grow

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

in those specific topics. As it is said that, practice makes a man perfect, it

Change the verb form

is also going

is also gone

show examples

also

goes for the weak

students

as well. By

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

a topic

that is

hard

Change preposition

for

show examples

student

will help him to understand it and when the concept gets clear the

student

start to grow

interest

Change the verb form

interested

show examples

in his studies. Increasing interests will help the

student

do better in his examination and achieve good grades. In conclusion, additional

classes

after

school

for weak

students

is necessary for overcoming their weakness and to develop

interest

Add an article

an interest

show examples

in their

school

activities.

Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on Sat Sep 04 2021

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

309 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people think that museums and art galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

1 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than the ability to give knowledge.

Some think that private companies should pay for cleaning up pollution, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss and state your own opinion.

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, whereas others think celebrities make the problem less important. Discuss both sides.

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.