Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportunities are scarce. In which ways does age affect employment opportunities? How might employers deal with the issue fairly?

#people #first #job #opportunities #age #employment #employers

Sporting has become a topic of broad interest. Some people maintain that becoming host of major sporting

events

such

as football world cup or the

olympics

Change the capitalization

Olympics

show examples

will have some advantages to the

country

However

, there have some fees

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be excessive and may

be divert

Change the verb form

divert

show examples

money from other important areas.

This

essay will pinpoint the benefit of hosting

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

sporting

events

and in my view,

this

trend will affect the financial implications. Admittedly, there are several benefits associated with

this

issue.

Firstly

, their

country

will increase the profile.

For example

, when the football world cup is organized in Canada, Canada will become famous, many people know

this

country

and visit. That helps the development’s tourism.

Secondly

, being a host of major sporting

events

will make citizens proud of their

country

and have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good thinking about sports.

For instance

, when hosting

a sporting

Correct the article-noun agreement

sporting events

a sporting event

show examples

events

, that

events

will be supported by their citizens and promote people to play more sports.

In other words

, hosting

a sporting

Correct the article-noun agreement

a sporting event

sporting events

show examples

events

will increase the profile’s

country

and help citizens have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good thinking about sports.

However

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

trend is not completely beneficial, there are some negative aspects that affect the financial implications.

Firstly

, in order to host

a major sporting

Correct the article-noun agreement

major sporting events

a major sporting event

show examples

events

, their

country

will pay some

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

to build a stadium.

For example

, the tax will increase every year, if they are not careful, they will lose money or go bankrupt.

Secondly

, In conclusion,

this

issue could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequences should not be overlooked. As a matter of fact,

this

issue has some serious negative

affects

Correct your spelling

effects

show examples

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

financial implications.

Submitted by nguyennhuypy on Sat Sep 04 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportunities are scarce. In which ways does age affect employment opportunities? How might employers deal with the issue fairly?

Your opinion

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion.