Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #job #future

It is an undeniable fact that choosing a

career

option

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

be an arduous task sometimes.

However

, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that

one

should have all the freedom to choose whatever

career

he wants

while

others state that

one

should select a

career

preciously and carefully. Apparently, various factors make a society of people advocate that

one

should choose his

career

independently and they have reasons to substantiate it.

To begin

with, an individual will be more drawn and passionate towards it since he will be doing the

job

he loves.

Consequently

, he will put more effort into his work and that

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

eventually make him excel in his workplace. To give an example of

this

, if a person wants to be a doctor and after achieving his dream to be a medical

professionalist

Replace the word

professional

show examples

; he would be able to work more passionately and sincerely towards his

job

Moreover

, working towards his passion would ultimately bring a sense of satisfaction and completion to his

life

as well. Another reason for being in a

job

that a person likes is that he would be able to push himself

as well as

his

career

to an exponential height which would eventually reap the benefits. By doing so, he will become a more successful and renowned personality in his field of work.

On the other hand

, some believe that

one

should choose his

career

more wisely and precautious and they have a myriad of reasons. Chiefly, because choosing a

career

would definitely bring a handsome salary and a sense of security to him and to his family every month even if sometimes it is out of his taste and

likings

Fix the agreement mistake

liking

show examples

. To illustrate, lots of engineering graduates are suffering from unemployment, if they receive a

job

in another sector of

Correct article usage

a fields

show examples

fields

Fix the agreement mistake

field

show examples

such

as marketing or

managing

Replace the word

management

show examples

, accepting that would definitely make their

life

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

and

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

receive ample funds to keep the needs of his and family satisfactory.

Furthermore

, in unfortunate times choosing a practical approach to

life

would definitely keep people away from mental illnesses

such

as depression and anxiety.

Therefore

one

should be more realistic about his current situation

while

choosing a

job

. In my profound opinion,

one

should follow his passion to its core no matter how hard the situation is because that would bring satisfaction and a sense of achievement to

life

and obviously

this

is something a person craves for his entire

life

Submitted by shubhambhanot29 on Sun Sep 05 2021

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task response

Ensure the essay fully addresses all the aspects of the task and provides well-rounded arguments for both sides of the discussion.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying sentence structure and using a range of complex sentences to enhance fluency and coherence. Linking phrases could be smoother; for instance, 'On the other hand , some believe...' could be more seamlessly integrated.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly outlines the debate and sets up the essay well for discussion of both viewpoints.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively reiterates the author's viewpoint and wraps up the essay nicely.

supported main points

The essay provides specific examples to support the points, which strengthens the arguments.

clear comprehensive ideas

The main ideas are clear and comprehensively discussed, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

413 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career trajectory
job satisfaction
employment prospects
financial stability
job security
economically viable
harnessing potential
labor market
vocational guidance
real-world demands

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Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is widely believed that the remaining increase in the global citizens is the biggest ultimatum accost by people in currency. Personally, I completely disagree with this view for a variety of reasons.

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some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?