IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents guide their children's education towards specific careers, such as in engineering, medicine, or law. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child who has this kind of parental guidance?

Few
parents
Use synonyms
 choose a special course for their younger
Use synonyms
kids
Check wording
kids'
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 studies
Punctuation problem
,
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like MBBS, software and courses related to
court
Correct article usage
the court
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both pros and cons for the juvenile who is under parental control.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should teach their sons or daughters
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 how to choose the best course for their future benefits. If
parents
Use synonyms
 are educated,they will give added information to the young generation.
one
Fix capitalization
One
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 advantage of
this
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 is, children will definitely achieve the best in
their's
Check wording
their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
For instance
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, recently I have read
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 article
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 in that
article
Add a comma
article,
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 research shows that younglings who were guided by their
parents
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
succeeded in that particular field.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another advantage of
this
Linking Words
 is, juvenile
delinquencies
Fix the agreement mistake
delinquency
show examples
 can be decreased because
kids
Use synonyms
 always focus on their studies in order to do evil things. To illustrate, now in Africa, the literacy rate is very high because
teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 people prefer to
studies
Replace the word
study
show examples
 rather than spoil things.
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on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, the cons of the above topic are, if
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
show examples
 or father
selected
Wrong verb form
selects
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 the course for
Use synonyms
kids
Correct article usage
the kids
show examples
, they will never
able
Verb problem
be able
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 to
take
Use the right word
make
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 any decision personally.
Parents
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 allow them to
take
Use the right word
make
show examples
 their own
options
Check wording
decisions
show examples
though
Punctuation problem
, though
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 they are small.
For example
Linking Words
, if any problem occurs in future,
kids
Use synonyms
 have to solve that problem on their own,
likewise
Linking Words
. Another negative consequence of
this
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 is, juveniles may not
aware
Verb problem
be aware
show examples
 of financial problems if
parents
Use synonyms
 are still guiding them.
However
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, they have to learn how to tackle financial issues.
Therefore
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,
parents
Use synonyms
 should give
some
Correct pronoun usage
them some
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chance
Check wording
time
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 to think
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
. If we take my friend as an example, now he is 30 years old and still, he does not know how to handle the financial hurdles
yet
Punctuation problem
, yet
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 he is brilliant.
To conclude
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this
Linking Words
, after discussing the above topic, the benefits
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the drawbacks. So, as far as
i
Verb problem
I'm
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
 must guide their
kids
Use synonyms
 to choose the best field.

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task response
Plan your answer. Start with a clear view in the intro and restate it in the end to make the aim clear.
task response
Add clear proof for each point. Use short, simple examples that fit the point.
coherence
Make the flow better in each paragraph. Use a topic sentence and small linking words to join ideas.
grammar
Fix the language. Keep grammar simple and check tenses and plural forms so the meaning is clear.
structure
There is a clear title and body parts with intro and conclusion.
coherence
Link words are used to show order (Firstly, Secondly).
content
The topic is related to the task and the student has shown some good ideas about both sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • parental guidance
  • specialization
  • high performing careers
  • competitive environments
  • skills and knowledge
  • exploration
  • interests
  • talents
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • passions
  • abilities
  • creativity
  • resentment
  • controlling
What to do next:
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