In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend

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In the past,

people

Use synonyms

use to do shopping only for their functional necessities.

However

Linking Words

, nowadays modern

people

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

made shopping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

leisure activity. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.

This

Linking Words

essay will

further

Linking Words

elaborate my views for favouring the positive and negative impact of

this

Linking Words

trend and

thus

Linking Words

will lead to a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining

further

Linking Words

, the

first

Linking Words

and the foremost reason, these days

people

Use synonyms

are busy with their working schedules. Due to

this

Linking Words

, they do not get enough time with their families.

Besides

Linking Words

, there are piles of chores regarding their household which they generally plan to do in their spare time.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the knock-on effect of shopping is that all family members have a chance to gather together along with minimizing

anxiety

Add an article

the anxiety

show examples

of buying household items as well.

Moreover

Linking Words

, children can play in the playgrounds owing to the amenities of the developed malls and their parents can buy stuff from there without being worried about their juveniles.

However

Linking Words

, on the other side, It has drawbacks as well. To commence with, mankind especially teenagers acquire items which are in the trend or popular. To explicate, every year new mobile phones have launched, and the crowd become crazy to get

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

high prized,

people

Use synonyms

purchase it without thinking for a

second

Linking Words

, even though, the features of new phones

dose

Correct your spelling

does

show examples

not change as much.

Therefore

Linking Words

, modern humankind does not believe in saving their earnings

nevertheless

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ancient time

people

Use synonyms

invest their money only on useful items. To conclude, One can reach a conclusion that shopping as a pastime

considered

Add a missing verb

is considered

show examples

a negative impact

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could be acceptable only when

people

Use synonyms

would do it once

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a month.

Submitted by ak8531526 on Tue Sep 07 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
retail therapy
materialism
disposable income
economic growth
financial instability
environmental impact
social interaction
community building
emotional satisfaction
advertising influence
shopping habits

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Cities should be designed to be attractive for local people and foreign tourist. Do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

Some people believe we should visit place to know the culture whereas others think internet and books are good source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes(for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?