Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

Many people

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

believe

that free

time

should

be spend

Change the verb form

be spent

show examples

on some

interesing

Correct your spelling

interesting

mind

improvement activities, like word puzzles and reading.

On the other hand

, some

completely

Add a missing verb

are completely

show examples

oposite

Correct your spelling

opposite

and think that free

time

should

be spend

Change the verb form

be spent

show examples

on rest our

mind

Fristly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

First

, It is

import

Replace the word

important

show examples

to say that leisure

time

must

be spend

Change the verb form

be spent

show examples

on some kind of

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

so our

mind

does not get bored. If

every one

Replace the word

everyone

show examples

try

Change the verb form

tries

show examples

to spend their life specious

time

for some kind of reading,

such

as books, magazine

ect

Correct your spelling

etc

Thats

Correct your spelling

That's

That

really helped them to gain some bonus

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

which really helped them

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

day to day life. More

interesing

Correct your spelling

interesting

in word puzzle playing during some leisure

time

is very important for children

thats

Correct your spelling

that

that's

boots younger generation thinking power which

necessry

Correct your spelling

necessary

for their career.

Best

Add an article

The best

show examples

example

for

Change preposition

show examples

that,some doctors

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

believe

that active minds

kills

Change the verb form

kill

show examples

some medical

probelms

Correct your spelling

problems

without medicine. And we can actives our

mind

throught

Correct your spelling

through

some kind of things which we do

Change preposition

show examples

our free

time

. Otherside, If we all spend our leisure

time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

resting

mind

Correct pronoun usage

our mind

show examples

thats

Correct your spelling

that

that's

make our

mind

lazzy

Correct your spelling

lazy

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

thats

Correct your spelling

that's

not going to help in our future. If every adult in

this

world

prefer

Change the verb form

prefers

show examples

to do that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

than

Replace the word

then

show examples

is very bed effect on

future

Add an article

the future

a future

show examples

generation.

some

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

time

it might be they create some negative thinking on their

mind

during resting

mind

. In conclusion, My view strongly

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

believe

Change preposition

show examples

reading and playing word puzzles on free

time

Beacause

Correct your spelling

Because

thats

Correct your spelling

that

make our

mind

sharp and it is important to

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world's

Change the noun form

worlds

world

show examples

Beacause

Correct your spelling

Because

of reading we could connect with

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

and get some

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

information which makes life easy for us and our family.

Submitted by hemant.patel1989 on Wed Sep 08 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There has been a growing issue regarding the diminishing participation from joint families in one’s household. As far as I am concerned, this condition is based on the fact that not only people are becoming more individualistic but they also live in different houses or even different cities.
5.5
band
several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, English is extensively replacing the role of local languages in the curriculum in many countries. Therefore, many concerns have arisen that these local tongues are under the threat of extinction. Although the importance of teaching English is quite high, governments around the world should ensure safety of local languages by implementing policies that would encourage native population to learn their native tongue.
7.5
band
many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion
There are conflicting views on whether individuals after graduating should land a job in small-size groups or large-scale ones. Although almost all people are fond of working for popular and big corporates, it is sensible that at the initial stages after graduation, graduates seek jobs at small-size companies.
4.5
band
In many countries, people are living in a “throwaway society” where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to?
In this age products' use times are decreasing obviously. I can clearly say that it is going to be a huge problem for the next generations. In this essay, I am going to explain what the causes are of these problems and which kind of problems we deal with in the close future.
4.5
band
Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, environmental pollution and housing problems are becoming troubles. As a result, there are many illnesses and diseases in modern society. I completely agree with the view, although environmental mental pollution and housing problems are some of the reasons.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

In many countries, people are living in a “throwaway society” where things are used for a short time and thrown away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to?

Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?