IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #food #restaurants #supermarkets #money #schools #products #development
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These days, in some countries, fast
food
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restaurants
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 and supermarkets provide
money
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 to
schools
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 to advertise their products. In my opinion, I think it is positive.
Schools
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 can receive
money
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 and make classes better, and markets can increase their profits.
This
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 essay will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 and the reasons.
First
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 of all, in
schools
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, there are many students from elementary to secondary.
This
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 is meant by, by promoting a large range of ages,
restaurants
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 can develop the standards for
small
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a small
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 child to elder child.
In other words
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,
economic
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the economic
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 progress of markets can be developed from
schools
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.
In addition
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, the
money
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 provided
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
restaurants
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 can be used for their education and to make school’s equipment better.
Secondly
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, some people might think fast
food
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 is unhealthy for children, but if the school starts to advertise, they might change their mind. Humans will be attracted to something good for them. So, parents will accept children to eat junk
food
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 and the profits of
restaurants
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 will increase.
Furthermore
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, junk
food
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restaurants
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 and supermarkets can improve their products.
For example
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, make fast
food
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 from healthy vegetables.
This
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 can be sealed to every family. In conclusion, fast
food
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restaurants
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 and corner stores providing
money
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 to
schools
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 and promoting their products are positive things. For
this
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,
schools
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 can get
money
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 to improve more education for children and make more school’s facilities better.
In addition
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, the profits of the stores will increase and provide
more
Change the word
apply
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healthier and suitable
food
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 to a large range of ages.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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