There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
The debate has been going around that in order to excel in school work extra
activities
should be remove
from the school modules. I totally disagree with Change the verb form
be removed
this
notion and the reasons will be discuss
in upcoming paragraphs.
Recent studies have been proven that physical Change the verb form
be discussed
activities
are important for a person to live a healthy life. Without physical education
many students are likely to suffer from diabetes, obesity and many other Add a comma
,education
health related
factors. Anyone who is battling any kind of disease would not be able to concentrate on studies which will still Add a hyphen
health-related
leads
to bad grades. Change the verb form
lead
Moreover
, sports and many other activities
outside of academic
are not just a waste of time because these Fix the agreement mistake
academics
activities
can improve your mind to focus more on things that you intend to this
kind of ability benefit you while you are studying.
Not all children study at the same rate and there are many different kinds of smart. Example
, a child may not be Change preposition
For example
a
book smart but will likely Correct article usage
apply
to
be top of the class in non-academic subjects. By removing Fix the infinitive
apply
this
area which have
Change the verb form
has
a
potential for them to become professional you are Correct article usage
the
also
taking away their dreams and hopes. As an education providing institute teachers interest
should be based on students well being and ability to adapt Fix the agreement mistake
interests
in
the outside world rather than marks.
To conclude reducing pressure on a teenager and letting them explore many possibilities and supporting them is Change preposition
to
more
reasonable approach that every adult should do.Add an article
a more
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite