There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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The debate has been going around that in order to excel in school work extra

activities

Use synonyms

should

be remove

Change the verb form

be removed

show examples

from the school modules. I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion and the reasons will

be discuss

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be discussed

show examples

in upcoming paragraphs. Recent studies have been proven that physical

activities

Use synonyms

are important for a person to live a healthy life. Without physical

education

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,education

show examples

many students are likely to suffer from diabetes, obesity and many other

health related

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health-related

show examples

factors. Anyone who is battling any kind of disease would not be able to concentrate on studies which will still

leads

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lead

show examples

to bad grades.

Moreover

Linking Words

, sports and many other

activities

Use synonyms

outside of

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

are not just a waste of time because these

activities

Use synonyms

can improve your mind to focus more on things that you intend to

this

Linking Words

kind of ability benefit you while you are studying. Not all children study at the same rate and there are many different kinds of smart.

Example

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For example

show examples

, a child may not be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

book smart but will likely

Fix the infinitive

apply

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be top of the class in non-academic subjects. By removing

this

Linking Words

area which

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

potential for them to become professional you are

also

Linking Words

taking away their dreams and hopes. As an education providing institute teachers

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

should be based on students well being and ability to adapt

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show examples

the outside world rather than marks. To conclude reducing pressure on a teenager and letting them explore many possibilities and supporting them is

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a more

show examples

reasonable approach that every adult should do.

Submitted by alinkarmyat0 on Wed Sep 08 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Topic 18: Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say that it is only useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and gives your own opinion.

with the pressures on today's young people to Succeed academically. Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school eg. physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that chicken can concentrate wholly on acadesoic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?