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Band 4.5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents
ome
Correct your spelling
some
 people argue that when dealing with the problems of adult life,
children
 raised in families without large amounts of money are better prepared than those raised by wealthy parents. In
this
 essay, the argument can be on a sort of conventional fallacy to people with poor childhood for a few actual reasons which are as follows. Coming across
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 hardship of adult life, a person brought up in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 family can handle their circumstances inactively under a short-sighted view enduring a lack of necessities as if they’d done for their childhood. Despite the fact that they are a bit better at it than their
counterpartners
Correct your spelling
counter partners
 in a short term, it will be unlikely for them to escape there and become wealthy
finally
 because of insufficient intelligence and experience on how to earn a large amount of money.
For example
, compared to a child who lives with rich parents running a huge company and investing in advanced technology and is often and familiarly exposed to the specialised information and business relationship, the poor child should make a
desicion
Correct your spelling
decision
 on dividing a bread into some parts sharing with siblings. Regretfully, the differences between the two
children
 will have
parallel
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a parallel
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 with when dealing with their difficulties in their adulthood.
The poor
Correct article usage
Poor
show examples
children
 tend to have low self-esteem which is formed completely in childhood and influences on
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 ability of their adult life. Their parents are so busy making income for
living
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a living
show examples
 that they rarely build a good relationship with their
children
, which leads to little confidence or
trusting
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trust
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toward
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves. A number of depression
casses
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cases
causes
classes
 of adults are originated in their unfortunate
childhoold
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childhood
 and most the patients frequently fail to overcome their
trasic
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tragic
 situations, as Freud had referred to
this
 point in his psychology thesis. Sadly, it is
prevelant
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prevalent
 in slum communities over the world. To sum up,
children
 from
low income
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low-income
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 can hardly prepare better for the future when facing adulthood problems
such
 as a shortage of
earning
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earnings
show examples
 as well as mental suffering.
Submitted by redrock1980 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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