IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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Many people support the idea that people should
work
Use synonyms
 for
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same
office
Use synonyms
 until getting
retiredment
Correct your spelling
retirement
. Meanwhile, others change the
job
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 more than twice. From my point of view,
i
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I
show examples
 prefer to
work
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my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in various workplaces for getting new challenges, even though, living in the same organisation is comfortable and safe. It is apparent that working in the same
office
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 is constantly
comfort
Correct article usage
a comfort
show examples
 zone. because of doing
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same
job
Use synonyms
 for many years,
this
Linking Words
 will make
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 professionally and accurately than workers who just start the
job
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. In that case, jobbers who
work
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 in the same
office
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 often turn to seniors or higher levels which mean increasing salary rate or having more holiday periods.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will get good credits of being royalty in the organisation by working for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time. Due to the reason above, there are many opinions support the idea of working
same
Change preposition
in same
show examples
office
Use synonyms
 is better than changing the
job
Use synonyms
 frequently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Many new jobbers
also
Linking Words
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think that it is better to change the workplace for expanding
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
their work
show examples
 abilities and connections. It is clear that the more
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 jobs you get, the
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
skills
Change preposition
of skills
show examples
 you have.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
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 learning new
challengs
Correct your spelling
challenges
challenge
 from different
office
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enviroments
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
. In
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
, working in various organisations makes you get more connections. In fact, your works will be more impact by having expert friends from
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 workplaces. From these benefits to upgrade skills and find a connection widely, many new generation jobbers prefer to find a new
job
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 after they worked in the
office
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 around one year or less. In conclusion, both opinions on
this
Linking Words
 topic is a personal question depending on each career paths. Both of them have benefits and drawbacks. It seems to me that getting
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 experience from
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 organisations is better than working in the same place in term of skills and connections.
Submitted by patsam.patsy on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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