IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #governments #people #cars
Whether or not there is a growth rate of
people
 who owned cars is a topic of interest. Some believe that the rise of that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can lead to several problems to the city.
This
 essay conveys that the increase in
car
 ownership has existed for years.
In addition
, the governments are the primary contributor to mitigate
this
 issue.
First
 of all, it is undeniable that
people
 are more likely to own a private
car
 rather than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport
ones
.
This
 is due to the lack of quality of the latter, serving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
citizens.
For instance
, in Thailand, public buses are quite dangerous to take as the bus takers are always driving over the limited speed, which there is a number of
people
 have injured by them.
Moreover
,
people
, living in rural areas, affirm that it is difficult to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
ones
 if they do need to be both
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
 and work on time. Solutions for
this
 is that the governments should develop and create new schemes for public transportations in order to increase the number of
people
 used.
For example
, the authorities have to invest more money to establish rapid train and bus not only the rural area but
also
 the others, where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport has not existed.
Additionally
, the old public transports should
also
 need to be developed and changed to be in a good standard as well. As a consequence, the public
ones
 will gain more interest among
people
 and that contribute to the reduction of
car
 ownership. In conclusion, I personally believe that nowadays, many
people
 always travel by their private
car
 due to lack of public quality. The government should,
therefore
, encourage
people
 to use the public
ones
 by developing those to be well-perform and far more convenient than their own
car
.
Submitted by palmynawa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: