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Band 4

In some poorer areas of large cities people are too afraid to leave their houses at night time due to a fear of crime. What are the causes of crime in those areas and what can be done to tackle those problems?

#areas #cities #people #houses #night #time #fear #crime
To live in metro
cities
 is the dream of everyone who can not afford to be in those
cities
 ,
however
 in some slum areas of
such
 cosmopolitan
cities
 people are scared to go out of the house at night under the shadow of crime, and I am going put light on reason of
such
 development and some remedies to solve the issues. The bigger the place the greater the troubles,for the majority of instances it is true for metro
cities
. especially in areas of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 dense population like slum areas where there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of education facilities,proper sanitation premice, unemployment,
abuse
Correct word choice
and abuse
show examples
 of alcohol and other recreational drugs which give rise to crime exponentially
which
Correct word choice
and which
show examples
 on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand restricts
free
Correct article usage
the free
show examples
movements
Fix the agreement mistake
movement
show examples
 of residents at night.
Although
 these are part of major
cities
 law and order
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
looks like
doesn't
Wrong verb form
they don't
show examples
 exist at all,local gangsters and drug peddlers walk around fearlessly. To overcome the above-mentioned issues needs great efforts from the government ,police and citizens working shoulder to shoulder together. In order to make the area a place to live government should provide
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 for developing schools,
public
Correct word choice
and public
show examples
 toilets ,
given
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 priority to local unemployed youth in jobs,active counselling and help for dealing with addiction,
stricter
Correct word choice
and stricter
show examples
 penalties and punishments for offenders. In summary,neither crime nor the migration of people will stop if there
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 no equal allocation of facilities,industries and funding will be done by politicians
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working with industrialists,
NGO's
Change noun form
NGO
show examples
 and people themselves.If
this
will happen
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 it will be a win-win condition for society and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
Submitted by Mahesh02o on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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