IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The graphs below provide the information on global population figures and figures of urban population in different world religion

The graphs below provide the information on global population figures and figures of urban population in different world religion
#graphs #information #population #figures #world #religion
The graphs elucidate the information about world
population
 growth from 1800 to 2100 and
opulence
Correct article usage
the opulence
show examples
 of developed and developing
religion
Fix the agreement mistake
religions
show examples
 during 2015-2040.
Overall
, it can be inferred that the highest populace shall be noticed by the
year
 2040 and the count of
people
 living in developed areas shall remain similar in all the years of 2015
while
 continuous increase shall be
witnesses
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 in the case of developing areas. It is evident from the line graph that in 1800, the total public was equal to 1000
million
people
. The figure increases gradually till 1960 with which it becomes exactly thrice of the initial
year
. After that, from the
year
 1960 to 2020, no doubt, there was an upsurge but it was a shrift incline that made the
population
 of the world , approximately 7500
million
people
 with
inclining
Correct article usage
an inclining
show examples
 trend the count of
people
 shall be the maximum
that is
 roughly 8000
million
.
However
, there shall be a decrement in the world
population
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 given years to almost 600
million
people
. Turning to words with
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
 graph ,
developed
Correct article usage
the developed
show examples
 religion
population
 was about 1200
million
 in 2015, which shall remain
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 after two decades.
However
, developing areas followed an increasing trend in the given time period, in 2015
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 2200
million
people
 were living in developing regions , which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 200
million
 in 2020. From the
year
 2025 to 2040, the
population
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developing a religion shall be inclined with 1800
million
 and touch the peak point ( about 4000
million
) in 2040.
Submitted by kaursharn01313 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, year, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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