IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Human activities is damaging the Earth or making it a better place to live? Do you agree or disagree?

#activities #earth #place
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For the
last
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 decades, the number of populations on the earth has jumped to billions. With the urge to fulfil all their needs, they are exploiting the globe ever since their creation. These types of activities
then
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 provoking a question of whether they will bring destruction
in
Change preposition
to
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 the world they are living in or they will improve their place to live. I personally believe that the appearance of human beings on the earth will bring more damage. In
this
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 essay, I will cover the reasons behind my opinion. No one can argue that the real reason behind building the civilization is to make a better home for all of us, but without the care for surrounding ecosystems, more damages will happen to our world.
First
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 of all, the development of big cities without any good city plan will cause
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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 of the natural ecosystems.
For instance
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, the massive development of reclaimed land to be
housing
Correct article usage
a housing
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 complex will cause a disruption and kill the living creatures
in
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on
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 the beach and the sea.
Thus
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, it will
also
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 make the fisherman suffer.
Secondly
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, the massive exploitation of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural resources without any blueprint to make them sustainable will
also
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 be a reason behind the damage globe. Take the intense use of
fosile
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel during the
last
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 decade
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for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example,
this
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 lead to the depleted amount of oil and gasses around the world. We have known that both of
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this resource
Fix the agreement mistake
these resources
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 could not sustain.
Therefore
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, societies tend to explore more in search of other
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 resulting
more
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in more
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 damage everywhere.
Lastly
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, our daily activities leave a massive amount of trashes, including undegradable one which
disrupt
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disrupts
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 the life of many animals. In summary, with some reasons that I explained in the previous paragraph, I believe that any human activities which focus solely on our advantages will make our planet a worse place to live.
Therefore
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, there is a need
of
Change preposition
for
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 better planning which involved the care of surrounding nature to make
earth
Add an article
the earth
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 a better place for living.
Submitted by wildan0503 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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