IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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There is a belief that high school
students
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 should already start contributing to society by participating in unpaid
community
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 service. While
this
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 is very beneficial to the development of a child and its
community
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, there is a drawback to it.
This
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 essay will
first
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 discuss the benefits of
this
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 idea and
then
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 look at the downside.
First
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 of all, having
children
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 participate in
community
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 work could give them more insights into their purposes in life. Whether doing charity work, brainstorming
an
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apply
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ideas on how to improve the landscape of the neighbourhood,
children
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 can learn about their influence in society and various ways
in
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apply
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through which they can aid other people’s lives.
This
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, in turn, helps guide them in their future endeavours, which could be doing a degree or working right after finishing high school. Another benefit that
community
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 service can bring is educating
children
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 about empathy and compassion. In
this
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 abundant society, fortunate
children
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 easily develop complacency and entitlement, which leads to a lack in having patience with others and the inability to put themselves in other’s shoes.
This
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 could have detrimental consequences in their adult life, considering the fact that humans are highly social animals. In contrary to these positive notes,
children
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 could misunderstand the purpose of
this
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 activity, because of its compulsory nature. It is well known that mandatory subjects have a fairly negative connotation amongst adolescents.
Therefore
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 if
community
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 service was presented in a not so subtle way,
students
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 could develop a distaste towards
this
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 idea and potentially see it as redundant.
As a result
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, if governments were to impose
such
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 a rule, they would have to think carefully about how to present it to young people. In conclusion, schools have to find exciting ways to engage
students
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 with
this
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 activity, if they want to mandate their
students
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 to do
community
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 work. If it is done right,
children
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 could obtain precious needed social skills to help them in their adulthood.
Submitted by nptlinh0310 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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