IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Shopping is the favourite free time activity for many young people today. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time rather than shopping?

#favourite #time #activity #people #activities
It has been universally acknowledged that the problem of violence in TV shows and video games is escalating at an alarming rate in the current scenario.
This
 problem has been of a depressing magnitude.
Although
 a plethora of reasons is there yet some sensible solutions are
also
 available to curb
this
 grave concern. Commencing with the causes which are responsible for the growth of it. The
first
 reason is that the absence of parents monitoring. To demonstrate, children are admissible to watch or play contents that are suitable for adult only. The
second
 contributing factor is that some TV shows and video game makers advertise their content to appeal to audiences from various generations.
As a result
, children become more concerned about their products. Conclusively, youngsters do not have plenty of information about the disadvantages of watching these types of harmful and dangerous products. In order to solve
this
 serious issue, some measures can be taken.
Firstly
, the parents should be more careful about their offspring. To illustrate, knowing what type of games or program their son/daughter watches in order to protect them from sexual or violent content.
In addition
 to
this
, the government should impose rules and regulations. As a consequence, producers must obey these rules. To recapitulate, unquestionably,
this
 problem has become a burning question of the day.
Therefore
, it is not an easy task to solve
this
. Government and parents should come forward to mitigate
this
 complex issue.
Submitted by m.azan222 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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