IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People should follow the customs and traditions when they start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In a new
Use synonyms
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 one faces multiple challenges to overcome the culture shock. Different people may adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new ways of life at
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
pace
Fix the agreement mistake
paces
show examples
. But I do agree that willing to accept and change with the circumstances can ease the burden. As we know that change is inevitable, we need to get accustomed to the new culture. There’s no harm in getting the best of both worlds, from your
country
Use synonyms
 of origin to
this
Linking Words
 new land of surprises. Festivals, celebrations, new people, new places, new things tend to broaden our perspective on life. We come out much stronger by dealing with the new possibilities.
Initially
Linking Words
, the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 might be tough to make sense of, but with time it should get better. The decision of moving to a new
country
Use synonyms
 is yours so you’d be the person who needs to adapt to get the best possible advantage. Human psychology is common but mannerisms might be different. So, one can learn that through social observation, trial and error and asking questions. To belong at a place, we must take the initiative to learn the traditions and customs of the new
country
Use synonyms
. To feel welcomed, one must socialize with
like minded
Add a hyphen
like-minded
show examples
 individuals, take part in group activities at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
show examples
 or educational institute or even
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 social clubs. Try to get out there, find your niche, excel at what you do, travel and get to know people. It’s easy if you are willing.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, you’ll end up losing new experiences which enliven our senses. To live more each day, we need to blend with the culture. Traditions
tells
Change the verb form
tell
show examples
 us stories of the past which we could relate with stories back at our homeland as well.
This
Linking Words
 way it’s going to be much easier to make bonds, live a cheerful life.
Submitted by ieltsmaterialof on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: